Clueless Things You’re Doing That Make People Think You’re Rude

Clueless Things You’re Doing That Make People Think You’re Rude

We all have those awkward moments where we realize we might have accidentally offended someone, but it’s not the end of the world. Sometimes our habits or behaviors can come across the wrong way, even if we have the best intentions. These common clueless behaviors might be making people think you’re rude, so the sooner you recognize you’re doing them, the quicker you can correct them.

1. Interrupting all the time

two male friends talking at restaurant

We all get excited to contribute to a conversation, but constantly cutting people off is a major faux pas. It signals that you don’t value their thoughts or opinions enough to let them finish. Instead, try a bit of active listening. Pay attention to what the other person is saying, and wait for a natural pause before sharing your own input. The Harvard Business Review has some great tips for becoming a better listener if this is something you struggle with.

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2. Being glued to your phone

When you’re constantly checking texts or scrolling social media while someone is talking to you, it sends a “you’re not important” message. It’s disrespectful and makes them feel like an afterthought. Put your phone away during face-to-face interactions. Give the person your full attention to show you’re genuinely engaged in the conversation.

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3. Forgetting people’s names

friends at a massive dinner party

Everyone has a slip of the tongue at times, but repeatedly forgetting someone’s name makes them feel insignificant. It suggests you haven’t made the effort to truly remember them. Next time you meet someone new, focus on repeating their name in your head a few times. If you forget, own up to it and say, “I’m so sorry, could you please remind me of your name again?”

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4. Staring blankly while other people are talking

Maintaining eye contact is important, but there’s a fine line between engaged and creepy. Intense, unblinking stares can be unnerving and make people uncomfortable. Relax your gaze, look away occasionally, and nod along to show you’re actively listening. A slight smile goes a long way too!

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5. Constantly flaking on plans

Canceling at the last minute is a surefire way to make people feel like you don’t value their time or company. Emergencies happen, but habitual flaking erodes trust. If you need to cancel, give as much notice as possible and offer a sincere apology. Avoid making promises you might not keep.

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6. Not saying “please” and “thank you”

These simple words go a long way! Forgetting your manners comes off as entitled or rude, even if you don’t mean it that way. Make a conscious effort to incorporate politeness into your daily interactions. You’ll be surprised at how positively people respond. As The Washington Post points out, showing respect and courtesy shows people that you care about them.

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7. Giving unsolicited advice

Multi-ethnic group of smiling young people talking outdoors in the city

While sometimes well-meaning, offering advice when no one asked for it can feel condescending. It implies you think you know better than the other person. Unless someone specifically asks for your input, focus on listening and offering support rather than trying to “fix” their situation.

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8. Focusing on yourself too much

Constantly shifting the conversation back to yourself is a recipe for one-sided interactions. People want to feel heard and understood, not just talked at. Show genuine interest in other people. Ask open-ended questions, and actively listen to their responses without trying to make it about you.

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9. Showing up late all the time

Chronic lateness shows a lack of respect for other people’s time. It implies that your schedule is more important than theirs and creates an inconvenience for everyone who’s waiting. Be realistic about how long things take, and give yourself a buffer for unexpected delays. Aim to arrive a few minutes early, demonstrating respect and consideration. Psychology Today suggests conditioning yourself to show up early in order to break your tardiness streak.

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10. Talking over people

male and female friend chatting on park bench

Whether in a group conversation or a one-on-one, talking over people is plain rude. It prevents people from finishing their thoughts and disrupts the flow of the conversation. Be patient and wait your turn. If you have something to add, try using phrases like “I’d like to build on that point…” once there’s an opening.

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11. One-word replies

two friends arguing on couch

Giving short, disinterested responses like “k” or “yeah” can make conversations go stale fast. It comes across as lazy and gives the impression that you’re not engaged at all. Put in a little more effort! Even adding a simple “That’s interesting! Tell me more” keeps the conversation flowing and makes the other person feel valued.

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12. Ignoring texts and calls (from people who matter)

Ghosting friends, family, or colleagues is disrespectful and can damage relationships. If you’re busy, that’s fine – but a quick “Can’t talk now, I’ll get back to you later” goes a long way. Timely communication is essential for maintaining healthy connections. Make an effort to stay in touch, even when swamped.

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13. Complaining all the time

colleagues on their phones

While it’s valid to vent sometimes, a constant stream of negativity can be a major drain. It shifts the focus away from other people and creates a heavy atmosphere. Try to balance your complaints with positive observations or by asking about the other person’s day. Find healthy ways to manage stress that don’t burden those around you.

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14. Not offering to help

Whether it’s carrying a heavy bag or offering a hand with a task, noticing when someone could use help shows consideration. Standing by idly makes you appear selfish or oblivious. Don’t wait to be asked! Offer a helping hand whenever you see someone struggling. Even small gestures make a big difference.

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15. Bragging and one-upping

two friends chatting in a kitchen

Constantly talking about your accomplishments or trying to outdo everyone’s experiences comes across as arrogant and insecure. It can make people feel put down or annoyed. Be happy for other people and learn to take genuine interest in their stories without constantly trying to one-up them. As Scientific American points out, constant one-upmanship can be a sign of narcissism, so tread carefully here.

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16. Not cleaning up after yourself

Leaving messes for other people to tidy, whether at home, work, or in public spaces, is inconsiderate and unfair. It suggests you expect everyone else to pick up your slack. Take responsibility for your own mess! Be mindful of your surroundings, and do your part to keep shared spaces clean and pleasant for everyone.

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Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.
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