Ever found yourself wishing the ground would swallow you after an awkward phrase slips out? We’ve all committed conversational blunders. Luckily, some common communication faux pas can be easily banished from your vocabulary so you can boost your social skills and save yourself from some serious cringing. Here are some phrases to get rid of entirely.
1. “Why are you always like that?”
Instead of talking about the person’s character, try to pinpoint specific things they do that concern you. Instead of saying, “You’re so reckless and inconsiderate — your driving sucks,” instead say something like, “When you swerve in and out of traffic, I don’t feel safe. Can we slow down a little?” It’s a lot to think about on top of the way you already feel, but it helps prevent the person from becoming defensive and allows you to have a more productive conversation about how their behavior affects you and what changes they might make to make things better.
2. “You never listen to me.”
Expressing frustration by accusing someone of not listening to you will inevitably shut down communication and create defensiveness. Instead, try sharing how you feel when your message isn’t understood or acknowledged. Use “I” statements to express your emotions and encourage the other person to empathize with your perspective.
3. “You’re wrong.”
Simply telling someone that they’re wrong (and that you’re right!) can come across as dismissive and disrespectful. Instead, share your perspective and ask for theirs, fostering an open dialogue where both parties can express their opinions and explore different viewpoints. This approach promotes understanding and collaboration instead of drama and conflict.
4. “It’s not my fault.”
Avoiding responsibility by insisting that you haven’t done anything wrong can kill the ability to problem-solve and strain relationships. Instead, try taking ownership of your role in the situation and work towards finding a solution together. Focus on moving forward and addressing the issue constructively rather than pointing the finger.
5. “That’s so stupid.”
Labeling someone’s ideas or opinions as “stupid” is hurtful, not to mention unproductive. Why not respectfully disagree and offer constructive criticism or alternative ideas? By setting the scene for a more respectful exchange of perspectives, you can encourage creativity and think outside the box.
6. “You should have known better.”
Saying that someone should have known better than to make a specific decision is pretty likely to cause resentment and defensiveness. Instead, be clear about your expectations moving forward and set out steps for how they can be met. Concentrate on finding out how to avoid the same mistake happening again; don’t get stuck on ancient history.
7. “I don’t care.”
Dismissing someone’s thoughts or feelings by saying you don’t care is really rude and dismissive. You can and should express your feelings honestly, even if they’re different from the other person. You should also be willing to hear them out and show empathy towards their perspective despite not being on the same page.
8. “I rarely get it wrong.”
Claiming you’re always right is completely misguided, not to mention arrogant and close-minded. Instead, stay open to different perspectives and be willing to compromise. Focus on understanding the other person’s point of view and finding common ground, rather than insisting on your own superiority.
9. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
Minimizing someone’s feelings by accusing them of overreacting or making a mountain out of a molehill can invalidate their experiences and create unnecessary (but totally understandable) tension. You should be validating the other person’s feelings and trying to understand their perspective. Show empathy and offer support, even if you don’t fully understand their reaction.
10. “That’s not my problem.”
Refusing to help someone out of a jam by pointing out that it’s not your problem can come across as selfish and uncaring. In reality, as long as you’re not totally slammed, you should offer support and assistance, even if the issue doesn’t directly affect you. It’s just a decent thing to do.
11. “You’re just being overly sensitive.”
Dismissing someone’s feelings just because you didn’t have such an extreme reaction is unfair and wrong. How they’re feeling is valid and you should do what you can to empathize with their perspective. Show compassion and offer support, even if you don’t fully understand their emotional response.
12. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Shutting down communication altogether and refusing to engage can create distance and tension in relationships. It’s totally fine to express your need for space or time to process, but make sure you let the other person know that you’re willing to discuss it later. Be open to revisiting the conversation so you can iron things out.
13. “I told you so!”
Using “I told you so” to assert superiority is the oldest, most condescending faux pas in the conversational book. Instead, offer support and understanding when someone’s struggling, and acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes without making them feel bad about it. Focus on finding solutions and moving forward rather than dwelling on the past.
14. “You always ruin everything.”
Blaming someone for all your problems or everything that goes wrong is mean and unproductive. You can point out specific behaviors or actions that are problematic, of course, but instead of finger-pointing, try to find ways forward. If you work together, you’re likely to get a lot further than you would if you were always casting the blame their way.
15. “You’re just like [insert negative comparison here].”
Making hurtful comparisons like this can be a killer to self-esteem and relationships. Instead, focus on the present situation and avoid making hurtful comparisons to past experiences or other people. Everyone is unique and has their own individual struggles — don’t lump everyone together in a single group.
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