People With High Self-Esteem Know These 15 Things That Other People Don’t

Having high self-esteem means that you not only like who you are, but you focus on self-respect and foster a sense of well-being so you can ride out the challenges life throws at you. People who have high self-esteem know these 15 things that other people don’t, and it’s what makes them so great to be around.

1. They have to keep refilling their self-esteem reserves.

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It’s easy to think that someone with high self-esteem is like that every day without fail. That’s a huge myth! People with high self-esteem have to put in the work to feel it, just like everyone else. But, they see this as a good thing: a bad day can easily be turned around with the right attitude.

2. They’re not keen on having too much self-esteem.

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Although having self-esteem is healthy, people who own it know that they don’t want to go over the top by becoming arrogant or pushing people away. So, they’ll own their mistakes instead of acting entitled, and they’ll be empathetic instead of focusing on their own needs or feelings.

3. They focus on positive affirmations.

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According to Positive Psychology, daily positive affirmations can be helpful. People with high self-esteem will maintain this practice every day because it keeps them away from negative thoughts, helping them to start their day with an open, positive attitude.

4. They try to boost themselves up, instead of bring themselves down.

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It’s easy for anyone to fall into a negative self-talk cycle, like when they have to work through a devastating failure. But, people with high self-esteem know that it’s important for them to support themselves and focus on the positive. They have to back themselves!

5. They don’t maintain toxic relationships.

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People with high self-esteem are mindful of who they spend their time with. They’ll avoid people who are toxic, like those so-called friends who are always negative or try to break down their confidence.

6. They don’t say “yes” when they don’t want to do something.

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If someone says “yes” to everything, even things they don’t want to do, they’re probably too worried about other people’s opinions and feelings. People with high levels of self-esteem don’t engage in that behavior because it drains their resources.

7. They’re all about their principles.

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These people know how important it is to focus on their principles and not lose sight of them. This keeps them on track with their dreams while staying true to who they are.

8. They face their feelings head-on.

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An important aspect of having high self-esteem is dealing with one’s feelings and using them to guide one to making the best decisions. People with healthy self-esteem take time to work through their feelings and tune into them, instead of brushing them off.

9. They focus on more than their success.

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Although people with high self-esteem might achieve great success, they don’t define themselves by it. They know their worth outside of their career and goal-chasing, instead of thinking that achievements are the only things that make them worthy.

10. They don’t compare themselves to others.
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People with high self-esteem don’t engage in behaviors that bring them down, such as by comparing themselves to others. They know that there’s enough good stuff out there for everyone and competing with others just makes one feel inferior for no reason.

11. They don’t rely on others’ approval.

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Instead of relying on others to make them feel good, such as with compliments and praise, people with a high level of self-esteem know their worth, according to Verywell Mind. Sure, getting compliments can feel flattering, but it’s not something they’ll strive to achieve or use to determine their self-worth.

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12. They’re constantly working on improving themselves.

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Having high self-esteem doesn’t mean that people don’t have to work on themselves. That’s such a myth! These people are always striving to learn more about themselves and become better or more skilled. The cool thing about this is that it boosts their confidence.

13. They know their reactions to things are important.

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What people with a healthy self-esteem know is that they can’t control everything that happens to them. But, they can control how they feel about, and respond to, it. This is what they focus on so that they don’t allow life to bring them down.

14. They know they’re perfect just the way they are.

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While it might sound arrogant for someone with high self-esteem to call themselves perfect, it just means that they know they’re worthy of receiving love for who they are right now, not who they can become or what they can do for others.

15. They know who they are.

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One of the secrets of having a high self-esteem is knowing what you’re about. People with a high level of self-esteem take the time to get to know themselves and they stay true to what they’re about. They see their positive traits and flaws, and accept them all so they can make the best of what they’ve got.

Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.