I’m used to noticing red flags with guys I’m dating, noting the warning signs that they’re bad news and that I need to get out sooner rather than later. That’s all changed with my current guy—everywhere I look, green flags are waving and it feels amazing.
- He’s a total sweetheart. He does lots of small things like opening the car door for me, placing his hand on the small of my back, and calling me just to chat. These small things really add up and leave me feeling desired, cared for, and appreciated, He’s really good at making me smile and melting my heart a bit.
- He texts me consistently. I’m not saying that he texts me all the time, just that he does so on a regular basis, usually in the morning and at night, sometimes in between. I can always expect to hear from him. I’m not left wondering what he’s up to or yearning for a connection because he gives it to me naturally. I’ve been with men before who were terrible at texting and it drove me crazy.
- We share similar values. I don’t know that I’ve ever had a guy I was dating know what feminist principle I was talking about without me having to explain. From what I’ve learned so far, he understands and vibes with feminist concepts. It’s great. Aside from this, it just seems like we’re on the same page with a lot of things, like believing that sex is sacred.
- He takes good care of himself. He has hobbies and activities that are really important to him. For example, he goes to church regularly, which I find wildly attractive. He also has a therapist, which is a great sign that he’s humble enough to accept the help that he needs. He also has physical activities that he does to take care of his body. All this self-care on his part is very sexy to me.
- He cares to learn about things that matter to me. Many people don’t take the time to understand what’s important to others, but I’ve gotten lucky because this guy totally does. He does his best to listen closely, read the articles I send him, and keep an open mind. He genuinely wants to know more about my beliefs, not as a way to prove something but rather to make a connection.
- He seems to have a great support system. Ever date a guy who has no friends? Red flag! Having a support system is so important. This guy seems to have plenty of people in his life that he has loving relationships with. I need him to be able to have people other than me to talk through his stuff with and that won’t be an issue.
- He’s actually looking for monogamous commitment. So many people on dating apps are looking for “something casual.” My guy, on the other hand, is actually looking for a serious relationship explicitly. We’re on the same page there since I’m looking for someone to ultimately be in an LTR with. I’m not afraid of commitment (well, mostly), so it’s nice to have someone else who isn’t, too.
- There aren’t any red flags so far! He’s clear from the big things that usually plague my relationships like emotional unavailability or someone being a workaholic. Instead, I’m only seeing green flags that are telling me to keep going.
- He actually wants to get to know me. I can’t tell you how many men try to sleep with me on the first few dates. It’s like they don’t care about getting to know who I really am, they just want into my pants. This guy isn’t like that at all. We’ve only had dates in public so far and he hasn’t tried anything. It seems like he really just wants to get to know me before getting sexual.
- Conversation flows really easily. The time we spend together is easy. I don’t have to work really hard to think of something to say. Further, he’s really good about both talking and asking questions. Some people just talk the entire time about themselves, but I’m grateful that my guy isn’t like that. As a result, conversation flows between us. We also share some comfortable silences, which is pretty cool.
- He makes seeing me a priority. I’ve dated men who would make plans with me a week or more out, leaving me wondering if they want to see me at all. This guy makes plans with me that are reasonably close. We’re not spending all our time together or anything, but he makes room in his life for me. I get to see him on a regular basis and I feel like I’m an important priority.
