We’re Dating Digitally But We’re Scared To Meet In Person

I don’t date, like, ever—or rather, I didn’t until I met a great guy online and got into a relationship with him. Things are going well, there’s just one little problem: we haven’t actually met in person.

He slid into my DMs and I eventually responded.

Ah, how romantic, the classic tale of social media love affairs. But in all seriousness, I hardly ever respond to Instagram direct messages. He can shoot his shot all he wants, but a generic message just isn’t going to grab my attention. However, he was persistent and charming and I eventually found myself entertaining him despite his approach.

I ignored his advances for months, maybe even a year.

Like I said, it’s hard to grab my attention via Instagram. I’ll notice a guy, maybe even acknowledge him, but typically I’ll just take the compliment and go. Every so often, I’d receive a message from this guy, but nothing out of the ordinary. I checked out his IG page here and there, but he just seemed like a typical guy trying to get laid. I responded to a few messages but offered zero interest.

Eventually, I gave him my Snapchat name just to shut him up.

Every single time he asked for my phone number, I gave him the ole’ “I have a boyfriend” excuse when I was actually single AF. After countless requests for my number, I gave him the next best thing: my Snapchat name. To be honest, the content he posted on his Snapchat stories made him look like a complete douchebag. If anything, all he was doing was turning me off even more. Well, apparently that wasn’t the case because I ended up giving him my phone number.

We started texting and found out we actually had a lot in common.

If you haven’t noticed yet, I’m extremely stubborn. I clearly knew that giving him my number was an invitation to text me, but I still ignored him. I don’t know what made me start responding in the end, but I did. We began to casually text here and there and found out we were actually very similar. We liked a lot of the same foods, music, and sports. He grew up in the same city I attended college, so we even knew a lot of the same people. Soon enough, we were texting daily and I was getting comfortable with our arrangement.

Naturally, after texting for so long, I wanted to talk to him face-to-face.

Being catfished is a real thing, and I was not about to end up on the next episode. I told him that if this was going to continue, we needed to start FaceTiming and he agreed. A few nights a week, we would video chat before bed. Eventually, we began to call throughout the day just to check in and see how one another’s day was going. The more we talked, the more we learned about each other.

He wanted to date ASAP but I wasn’t having it. 

He tried to grab my attention for so long, and now that he had it, he wanted all of it. He even got a little pushy about it, which freaked me out. “How can you possibly want to date someone you’ve never met in person?” I questioned. He wasn’t sure either but he was adamant about wanting to be in a relationship. My skepticism kicked in and I thought for sure he couldn’t be serious, so I stopped taking him seriously.

Next thing I knew, we were dating.

Well, duh. He asked me out plenty of times, but I brushed him off as crazy. Recently he asked again and I said yes. What’s the worst that could happen? Things wouldn’t work out and we’d break up? I had nothing to lose. I take dating very seriously and have only considered myself exclusive with two men in my entire life. Well, those relationships ended up not being exclusive, so clearly what I was doing before wasn’t working. It was time to step out of my comfort zone and try something new.

Of course we plan to meet, it just hasn’t happened yet.

Between a five hour, one-way commute and two completely different schedules, it’s hard to find time. We understand we’ll have to find time to meet very soon if this relationship stands any chance, but we’re patient. We know the time will come and we both have enough trust in one another to remain exclusive.

I won’t lie, though—meeting in person raises a lot of fears.

What if we become extremely close but everything changes once we meet face-to-face? What if I’m not physically attracted to him? What if we just flat out have no chemistry? These thoughts cross my mind frequently, but I guess that’s the baggage that comes along with online dating.

I know relationships like this aren’t uncommon, but I never thought I’d actually be in one.

If you would have told me six months ago that I’d be dating a man I met online and have never met, I would have laughed in your face. But it works. We get each other and enjoy each other’s time. We laugh constantly and accept each other’s past. We’re comfortable speaking about whatever and have too many things in common to count. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m in a relationship with a man I’ve never met.

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