Dating An Introvert? Whatever You Do, Don’t Take Them On Any Of These 12 Dates

If you’re an introvert, you’ll know how you hate the following 11 types of first dates and will avoid them at all costs. If, on the other hand, you’re about to ask an introvert out for a first date, make sure you avoid these unless they give you the thumbs-up first.

  1. The club date The noise. The mass of people. And, on top of this, the weirdness of trying to connect with the person you’re on a date with? Ugh. Club dates are just too much.
  2. A party where you know no one Just as bad, if not worse, than going to a crazy club is being invited to a party where you don’t know anyone. Eek. Now you have to try to impress your date while also feeling like you’re on a date with his friends, complete and utter strangers. No thanks.
  3. A group date Even if you know the other people who are on the date, there’s just too much conversation to handle in one place. It’s easier to deal with a person one-on-one instead of in a group setting when you don’t know them from a bar of soap.
  4. The video date If you’re far away from each other, you might want to wait until you can see each other in person instead of having a video date. It’s just awkward and uncomfortable for everyone, but imagine having to deal with feeling like you’re a bunny in a car’s headlights or in a job interview as an introvert. Save the conversations for phone calls or texts!
  5. Romantic dinner date One-on-one dates are easier to handle, but there’s a catch. You don’t want to be stuck on a first date dinner, staring at someone from across the table in a restaurant, not knowing what to say and feeling their eyes on you the whole time. Perhaps grabbing street food while taking a walk around town might be better because it’s just so much less pressure. FYI, while a romantic dinner might sound lovely, it can be too much for a first date anyway.
  6. A busy beach It’s better to have outside, perhaps in a gorgeous location like a beach where you can both enjoy the sunshine and water or stargaze at night. It’s romantic, but make sure you avoid going there when it’s busy. Introverts hate being in crowded places.
  7. Karaoke night at the local pub Singing in front of a bunch of rowdy people? Um, no. While it might sound like a fun idea, an introvert isn’t going to be into it (even after a few drinks).
  8. Small-talk dates Is there anything worse than small talk? As an introvert, trust me when I say it is painful! If the date hits a conversation slump, it’s a good idea to ensure you’re in a location where you can walk around or do something else instead of just try to fill the awkward silences with talk of the weather.
  9. A surprise change of plans If you want to surprise an introvert, don’t. They don’t take well to having things like last-minute surprises or date changes thrown at them.
  10. After-work coffee Sometimes introverts would rather get together before work when they’re energized. If they have a hectic day after which they have to meet someone, it’s not always easy for them to be at their best. The need to get away and be alone in order to recharge their batteries is strong.
  11. Family functions¬†If you invite an introvert to a family function for a first date, you’re really throwing them into the deep end. Now they’re saddled with crazy first-date nerves, people they don’t know, and their date’s family – all in one. It’s a heck of a lot of pressure for anyone, but especially the introvert.
  12. A concert Some introverts are highly sensitive to noise, so you might want to avoid taking them to a jam-packed concert unless the introvert has said they really, really want to go. Anyway, it’s not the best place for a first date with anyone because you won’t be able to have a proper conversation and get to know each other. Maybe a chilled movie is best, followed by a quick cup of coffee so there’s nothing too intense to deal with, no?
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.