You May Have Been Dating A Legit Psychopath Without Even Knowing It—Here Are The Signs

You probably consider at least one of your exes to be crazy, but there’s a massive difference between a guy who treats you badly and a guy who potentially poses a very real danger to himself and others. Here’s how you can know if you’ve been dating a legit psychopath:

  1. He might seem too good to be true. You know when you meet a new guy and it’s like you hear a choir singing and birds chirping and you swear that this is the person that you’re going to be with forever? But then after a while, things get weird and you have no clue what you were thinking? Yeah, that seems to be what happens when you’re dating a psychopath. At first, he’s going to seem so great that you’re going to wonder if this is for real and you’ll see that it’s not for real at all. A normal guy won’t seem so ridiculously amazing at first.
  2. It’s not an actual condition. Well, at least according to the field of psychology. The word psychopath is used in the DSM-5 as part of the section on antisocial personality disorder. While psychopaths might be able to fake it in social situations, the fact that they’re even faking it proves that they have some issues.
  3. A charming guy is a red flag. As expert Matt Stanford, Ph.D., who is the chief executive officer at the Hope and Healing Center & Institute in Texas, told Women’s Health, “People who are psychopathic prey ruthlessly on others using charm, deceit, violence or other methods that allow them to get what they want.” Yeah, you might have thought it was super cute and sweet at first when the last guy that you dated brought you flowers every time that you hung out. But after a while, you probably realized that he was trying to emotionally manipulative you. That’s definitely the telltale sign of a psychopath. This is not to say that every charming person is bad news, of course, but it’s something to watch out for.
  4. He will never, ever feel guilty about anything. It’s not possible to have a perfect relationship. If your boyfriend makes a mistake or does something to upset you, it’s not like you’re going to break up with him on the spot. You want to work it out and you hope that he’ll apologize and change his behavior. A psychopath won’t do that. He doesn’t feel guilty (like, ever) and won’t even comprehend why you’re upset with the way that he’s been acting.
  5. No one really knows the actual reason. Some ideas that have been thrown around: there is something off in their brains that would usually make them feel guilty, or they weren’t hugged enough growing up. Whatever the reason, it’s a pretty creepy thing to think about, right?
  6. More guys than girls seem to be psychopaths. That’s the stat that experts have discovered. It makes sense: girls definitely have a lot of bad dating stories that involve weird and sketchy male behavior that could be borderline psychopathic if not 100 percent. How many people might have this? 0.2% to 3.3% of the population, apparently.
  7. If he’s a liar, he could be a psychopath. This is a hallmark trait of a psychopath: they literally can’t stop lying. You can figure this out pretty easily, actually, since you’re already used to overanalyzing everything that the new guy in your life says and does. If you realize that you don’t really understand something about him or you’re confused at all, then he could actually be a psychopath.
  8. He’s going to always want more. Experts told Women’s Health that this kind of guy makes dating really amazing since he’s not going to be down with dull dates like just grabbing some food. You’ll be super caught up in him but after a while, you’ll see that he’s way too hyper and that he always needs things to be as incredible as possible so he stays interested. Not exactly the best way to form a real, grown-up relationship. When he’s not cool with just hanging out with you on the couch and literally doing nothing, that’s when you know that something is up. What guy doesn’t think that sounds like total bliss?!
  9. It’s time to trust yourself. When people talk about this subject, they say that the best thing that you can do is trust yourself and do what feels right. Even if you talk to your best friends about the situation and they think that it’s okay, if you’re not feeling comfortable, you have to honor yourself. If you’re dating someone and it seems like this is what might be going on, you should protect yourself and walk away. The same thing goes if he seems kind of strange but you’re not convinced he’s legitimately a psychopath. Better safe than sorry, right?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.