When you’re single, you almost have no choice but to date which sucks — because, frankly, dating sucks. It’s not that you don’t go into it hoping for the best — you do — but the constant disappointment leaves you disillusioned after a while:
You already know right off the bat whether or not you’re attracted to the person.
As you get older, you develop a better sense of what you want versus what you don’t. Because of this, it becomes much easier to recognize when it’s someone you don’t want because you’ll immediately dismiss them, so having to sit through an entire date with someone you know you never want to see again is a total drag.
It’s always the same thing over and over again.
Dating is a somewhat formulaic process most of the time, which means it gets pretty monotonous. If you’ve been dating a while, you know the drill and the only reason you subject yourself to it time and time again is because you’re holding out for a miracle. Unfortunately, it’s usually always the same. Ugh.
There are a lot of first dates but rarely any seconds.
First dates are always nerve-wracking. You never know if it will be your last date (thank God) or the first of many that actually lead to a real relationship (a girl can dream). Until you try it out, you won’t know. Of course, 99% of the time, it doesn’t go much further than, “It was nice to meet you.” Well, that was a waste.
It takes SO MUCH time you could be spending doing other stuff.
Dating is all about making a good first impression. You want the person sitting across from you to see the best parts of you, which is great, but that takes time and mental energy that you’ve already spent on 50 dates before this one. It’d be well worth it if anything ever came of it, but when you keep coming up empty-handed, you start to wonder if your time wouldn’t be better spent elsewhere.
It gets too tempting to settle.
Eventually, you come to a realization that the only reason you’re dating is probably because you’re sick of being single and you really just want to find someone that you wouldn’t mind spending time with. The thing is, if you end up not liking the person, then you’re right back to square one.
It makes you realize how much you actually want to be in a real relationship.
If you’re currently dating, then that means there’s always a potential for developing real feelings for someone, which is always a scary thing. If you do end up catching feelings for someone, then you become afraid of losing that person’s interest, scaring them off or getting your heart broken. Joy!
It makes believing in the idea of “The One” nearly impossible.
Once you’ve had your fair share of dating fails, you’re kind of over the idea of meeting someone that you truly like. Yeah, sure, it’d be nice, but it feels like as much of a fairytale as the Disney movies you grew up on. It’s just not realistic anymore, or so it seems.
You set yourself up for failure by having a”glass half-full” mentality.
Sometimes, it’s just easier to go into something with lower expectations. After your countless efforts, you start to lose a little bit of steam and get into the mindset that you’re not going to like the guy even before you’ve really spent time with him. With this attitude, it almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You get way too used to disappointment.
Constant disappointments can really affect a person. After a while, you start to think, “Why bother?” and you slowly start to put yourself out there less and less until you pull yourself out of the running entirely. This is obviously self-defeating and means that you really never WILL meet anyone, but you almost don’t care after a while.
It makes you slightly bitter and cynical.
With the back-to-back failures, you’re already frustrated enough. It gets harder to hold onto hope, which ends up making you feel bitter and cynical because you’re not sure whether or not you believe that this whole dating thing is worth all of your efforts. This carries over to your wider life, which is a serious drag.
You’d rather be alone than go out with someone you’re not interested in.
At the end of the day, you have to know who you want to invest your time in. If you already sense that the person you are going on a date with isn’t the right one, then you may be better off just flying solo. Hopefully you won’t always feel this way, but it makes sense that you do, that’s for sure.
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