12 Reasons You’re Single Even Though You’re A Catch

You’re clearly a strong, smart, hilarious woman… and yet you’re still not in a relationship. What are you doing wrong?? Absolutely nothing. Here are the reasons you’re single even though you’re a total catch any anyone would be lucky to have you.

  1. You don’t believe in settling. You know what type of people settle? The ones who think they’re running out of time to find something real and those who think true love isn’t in the cards for them. However, that’s not the case for you. You know your person is out there and you’re not settling for anything less. Of all the reasons you’re single, this is probably the one you should be proudest of.
  2. You’re waiting to meet someone worthy of your awesomeness. You’re amazing, so why would you even bother being with someone who doesn’t equal you in that? You’re looking for someone who can match your energy, intellect, sense of humor, passion for life… you get the picture. Until someone like that comes along, you’ll be just fine.
  3. You don’t need a man to validate your existence. Women are single for various reasons, but this one should be true for all of us. You might think it’d be nice to have a partner in crime sometimes, but you certainly don’t spend all your time pining after a guy — and you don’t feel bad about it either. Instead, you live your life and don’t let it revolve around finding someone.
  4. You’re too busy living your life. You have trips to take, people to meet, projects to tackle, and you have a goal to go to 30 countries before you turn 30. Your schedule is pretty damn packed. There are a million and one reasons to go after the things you want in life, and being single shouldn’t stop you.
  5. You’re focused on your career. It may sound like some sort of copout or a cliché, but this is 2022. What woman isn’t focused on her career to some degree? You love what you do and you’re good at it. That’s worth being proud of, for sure. And if you’re not that happy with where you are in your professional life at the moment, you’re busy changing that.
  6. You’ve got great friends to distract you from romance. Once you get a boyfriend, the time you spend with your friends is immediately cut in half. Boyfriends are great and all, but friends are a whole other level of wonderful. They’re one of the best reasons to completely ignore the fact that you’re single and focus on strengthening those relationships instead.
  7. Guys aren’t as into commitment as they once were. We live in a culture where hooking up seems to take precedence over serious relationships. While hooking up is fun and one-night stands are a blast, it’s hard to find commitment in a sea of men who just aren’t into it. In this particular case, your singleness is totally out of your control.
  8. Your confidence is really intimidating. It’s true! Even the cockiest of men will second guess themselves before even daring to approach a woman of your caliber. It takes a guy who’s really secure in himself and what he has to offer to get on your level, and those types of guys are rare.
  9. You need to focus on yourself first. Before you can share your life with someone else, you first need to know who you are, what you want, and in what direction you’re headed. It’s not fair to offer only half of yourself to someone when you’re still not completely whole.
  10. You don’t really have time to meet people. You didn’t even have time to eat lunch today, let alone set up an online dating profile. In fact, you’re not even sure you have time to swipe more than once or twice on Tinder. People often start dating, only to claim they’re “too busy” to really commit to something real. Recognizing that before you get involved and waste anyone’s time is a very good thing.
  11. You’re too in love with single life. When your life is perfect already, it’s hard to want to bring someone else into the mix. While you may want a boyfriend, there’s the fact that having one will change the life you’ve made for yourself. There’s nothing wrong with change, but it’s also something you need to do on your own time.
  12. You’re not ready for a relationship. That’s not an insult and that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. It’s just not the right time, so why push something you’re not 100% about it yet? Taking the time to figure out who you are and what you want are great reasons to stay single for a while. Eventually, it’ll all line up, but for now, just do you.

Reasons to feel better about the fact that you’re single

  1. It’s better to be alone than with someone who’s not worthy of you. As dating coach Carol Morgan points out, you should never drop your standards and go out with someone simply because you’re fed up with being on your own. “I can’t tell you how many people I know who just ‘settle’ because they hate being alone. If that’s you, why do you hate being alone so much? Don’t you like yourself? You should!” she says. “You should love being alone because you’re such a cool person. You need to have the mindset that anyone who doesn’t want you is a fool and you wouldn’t want them anyway.” Keep your standards high. There is someone out there who will meet them.
  2. Single people are happier anyway. You don’t have to take my word for it — science proves it! According to Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics, women in particular live much more enjoyable lives and have higher levels of happiness when they’re both spouse- and child-free. “We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that science and just say: if you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother,” he says.
  3. Your mind is so much freer. There’s no use denying that relationships don’t just take up physical space in your life but mental too. One of the best reasons to relish being single is that you’re free from all the mental clutter that having a partner brings. “Believe it or not, relationships are ‘mentally’ expensive,” says relationship expert and bestselling author, Susan Winter. “Intimacy and partnership takes up a lot of space in our heads. Even though much of this is happening unconsciously, there’s simply a lesser capacity for individually focused thought.”
  4. You don’t lose sight of who you are. How many people have you known who totally lost themselves when they got into a relationship? While that certainly doesn’t happen to everyone and it’s not a reason to avoid romantic connections, one of the best reasons to love being single is that you’re given time to really understand and solidify who you are. “People say a lot of times, when they’re in relationships, that they’ve lost themselves,” reveals psychologist and relationship expert, Dr. Niloo Dardashti. “And that’s largely because we stop doing things independently. When you’re alone, it creates opportunity for being more in touch with something inside of you.”
  5. When love does come your way, you’ll be ready for it. Of all the reasons to love being single, it all boils down to this. The time you spend rolling solo shouldn’t be lived in anticipation of a relationship, but by building a life you love, you’re actually doing the prep work for a really amazing connection when the right person does eventually come along. Weird, right? Funny how that works. Don’t question it, just keep the faith.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.