How To Deal When Your Relationship Is Falling Apart Before Your Eyes

When it comes to relationships, sometimes you can sense that the end is near. You watch your fairytale romance fall apart piece by piece and it’s heartbreaking. It can all be too much to watch it unfold with your own eyes knowing you can do nothing about it. How do you deal with that kind of torture?

  1. Don’t ignore the issue. Pretending there isn’t a problem won’t make the problem go away. Communicate with your partner and face the issue head on. You can’t hide in the dark — that won’t keep a breakup from coming. You have to prepare yourself for heartbreak because if you don’t, it will only hurt that much more.
  2. Don’t fight for a man who isn’t willing to fight for you. Too many women make the mistake of putting all their effort into a relationship when a man isn’t willing to do the same. If he’s not fighting for you, he’s fighting against you. You shouldn’t have to beg, plead or try to convince a man to be with you. He should want to be with you and if he doesn’t, then at some point you just have to let him go.
  3. Don’t try to smother him with your love. You might want to prove how much you love him, but that can do more harm than good. If he feels pressured to stay with you, it’s only going to further damage the relationship. If he really still loves you, he’ll see that you’re trying. Just remember, if you really care about him, sometimes it’s best just to set him free… before he begins to resent you.
  4. Stay strong. No matter what, you have to remember that you’ll get through this. It can be easy to give up, curl into a ball and hope the whole world just stops around you. Heartbreak and depression go hand in hand, but don’t let any man have that power over you. It’s okay to be sad as you watch a relationship with a man you loved come to an end, but don’t ever let it break you. You’re too good for that.
  5. Don’t act desperate. You don’t need his love — you might want it but you don’t need it. You lived without him before and you could survive without him again. Don’t let him think that you’re dependent on him. You were an independent woman before you met, and you could rock the single girl life again. At the end of the day, remember that you don’t just want a boyfriend. You want “The One,” and you shouldn’t settle for anything less.
  6. Lean on your girlfriends. Don’t put on a show for them. If something is wrong, don’t act like everything’s okay — you need to let those feelings out, not bottle them up. You might want the outside world to think that your relationship is perfect, but you’re only hurting yourself. It’s okay to lean on others when you need them; it doesn’t make you any less strong, and most of the time, it can make you feel a hell of a lot better to remember that no matter what, you’re not alone.
  7. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. You can’t think for one second that he’s your last shot at love. There are plenty of other amazing men out there, and you need to remember that. If he’s not the right guy for you, it just means that someone else is. You deserve real love and someday you’ll get it. The only way you won’t is if you simply give up, so don’t put all your hope on things working out with him. If they don’t, you’ll be okay no matter what.
  8. Remember the amazing things in life you still have. Don’t let your relationship be the one thing you’re living for. There’s more to your life than having a boyfriend. You have friends, family, a career, hobbies and so much more. Just remember, things could always be worse. Even though your relationship is falling apart, you still have the rest of your life, and that’s something to be grateful for.
  9. Don’t change who you are. You can’t just give into his every want and need just so you can keep him. You can’t make yourself into the girl of his dreams. You are who you are, and if a man doesn’t love you for it then he doesn’t deserve you. You can try to be someone else, but deep down you will always be you, and you’re worthy of a man who can see just how amazing you are.
  10. Never forget that you deserve to be treated right. It might be hard to watch as a man who once treated you like a princess slowly starts to treat you like dirt. That’s a pretty confusing spot to be in emotionally, but you can’t let the kind of boyfriend he was at the beginning of the relationship cloud who he is now. Being a good boyfriend in the beginning doesn’t make up for being a terrible one now. If he doesn’t treat you right, it might be the hardest thing you ever do, but you have to walk away.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.