I Depend On Myself For Everything I Need, Not Guys — And That’s Exactly Why I’m An Amazing Girlfriend

I’m just going to come out and say it: I’m a freakin’ amazing girlfriend. I’m not being arrogant or narcissistic — I just know that being in a relationship with me is a pretty good deal for my boyfriend. The reason? I want them, but I don’t NEED them. I’m all about looking after myself and expecting nothing more than love and respect from my partner. I think that sounds fair, don’t you?

  1. I know just what I want from life — and it doesn’t have a pulse. Shockingly, my main goals in life don’t include getting a boyfriend. I just so happen to have a man who I love, but that’s not the end of the game for me. I know what I want from life — a great career, happiness, stability — and none of these things come in a pair of boxer shorts. Yes, my boyfriend is wonderful, but that’s a credit to him, not to my ability to nab the right guy. 
  2. I don’t see my boyfriend as an ATM… There are some women out there who think their boyfriend doubles as a handy ATM. Um, whatever happened to equality, ladies? You can’t have it both ways. I’m a strong believer in people making their own money and spending (or saving) it as they so wish. I would never treat my guy like he owes me cold hard cash for my affection. I’m his girlfriend, not a prostitute.
  3. … Or as my personal chauffeur. I don’t depend on my boyfriend to drive me around. He’s got his own stuff going on, and I get that. In fact, I’m freakin’ ecstatic that he does. I can’t imagine having my guy waiting for me everywhere I went. If I need to go somewhere, I can get there myself. That’s not to say I don’t go places with my boyfriend, only that I don’t expect him to keep his calendar clear in case I need a ride.
  4. My self-esteem doesn’t come from my boyfriend. Whether I’m with a man or not, I have this little thing called self-esteem. It’s a beautiful thing, really. I don’t need a shower of compliments from my guy to make me feel worthy of the world. I’ve honestly got it covered. I’m worthy and I don’t doubt it if my guy forgets to tell me so.
  5. I’m not desperate for attention from men. I don’t beg for attention from men and I never would. I get my own sense of self-worth from the things that I actually achieve, not because some guy ogles me in a bar. In short, it means that I don’t go around asking my guy to give me constant attention. That would be incredibly unhealthy.
  6. I have my own friends — I don’t need to latch onto his. Before I’d even laid eyes on my boyfriend, I had a wide circle of friends around me. I still do. I value friendship extremely highly and I work at my social relationships all the time. I’m not with my boyfriend so that I can latch onto his friendship group and feel popular. I don’t need him to share his social life with me at all (if he does, I’m game!). Plus, since I have my own friends around me, I’m not continuously reliant on him for interaction. He can go play golf for a few hours because I’ve got things to do and people to see.
  7. I don’t expect my guy to buy me fancy things. Again, I’m not in this for the material things or the money. Come on now! What kind of a relationship would that be? A pretty screwed up one, for sure. I loathe it when I hear of ladies who expect (nay, demand) their guys buy them expensive things. It’s disgusting. Why should he have to? I’m sorry, but a guy doesn’t need to show his love for his girlfriend by emptying his bank account.
  8. I know I could survive alone — I’m not desperate. I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend; he makes me extremely happy and I adore him. Having said that, I know that if it came down to it, I could survive alone. Him walking out of the door would cut me up inside, but I’m strong enough to get TF over it. Surviving on my own was natural before and it would be again. That means I’m not needy as a girlfriend and I’m not the type of woman who will do anything to keep her man. I won’t lower myself or change just to keep a guy happy — I’m authentically me, always.
  9. When I do something nice, it’s because I want to. That’s not to say that I don’t do sweet things for my partner. I do. The only difference is that when I go out of my way for my guy, it’s because I totally want to. I want nothing more than to make him happy because he makes me happy too. Whenever I do something, it’s not borne of the sickening fear that he might leave me, it’s genuinely borne of love. I see my boyfriend as my equal — my partner — and that’s all he ever needs to be.
Charlotte is a freelance writer who's addicted to binge-watching TV, drinking far too much coffee, and writing articles.