If He Doesn’t Respect You, He Doesn’t Deserve You

Respect is a necessary part of the human experience because it’s a reciprocal action. It takes effort from both sides to achieve results, and this is especially true in relationships. Mutual respect is a healthy standard to have, and it’s perfectly okay to move on if the guy you’re with isn’t holding up his end of the bargain. If he’s not giving you any respect, he definitely doesn’t deserve you.

  1. No respect equals no relationship. If you voluntarily choose to spend your time with a hapless loser who doesn’t respect you, you can’t really be surprised when you’re miserable and disappointed all the time. A situation like that will magically transform into a happy relationship four days after never. When there’s no mutual respect to begin with, having a relationship is impossible.
  2. There’s no reason to stay with someone who treats you badly. You aren’t accomplishing anything by staying with a guy who’s incapable of respecting you. Things will just continue to get worse until you finally snap and land yourself in therapy and possibly a bad breakup or a messy divorce. Why let things get to that point in the first place? Leave and take your electronics and food with you.
  3. You shouldn’t be trying to change him. Don’t like what you see? Don’t get involved. A man isn’t a pliable object that you can sculpt into a passable life partner over time. If he doesn’t respect you initially, he probably won’t respect you later. You don’t have to deal with that (and you definitely shouldn’t).
  4. No one is buying your excuses. “Things are rough now but…” shouldn’t be coming out of your mouth multiple times a day. Nothing you say after that will ever make sense to anyone. You may think that you’re providing acceptable excuses for curious friends, but they’re probably just wondering why someone with your compassionate nature is wasting time on someone who doesn’t deserve her efforts.
  5. A lack of respect will result in a lack of trust. There’s no way you will ever be able to trust someone who doesn’t even respect you. Trust is a fundamental component of relationships, and without it, your partnership is destined to crash and burn. If he doesn’t respect you, your trust is the last thing he deserves. Mutual respect breeds mutual trust. It’s that simple.
  6. You probably aren’t respecting him either. Relationships don’t mean that the man has to be on his best behavior while you can act like a rampaging tyrant whenever you want. Respect is a two-way street. If he doesn’t respect you and you don’t respect him, that’s not a relationship. You guys aren’t a couple—you’re a destructive jerk and a spineless wimp who watch Netflix together.
  7. It’s not “too late” for you. If you’re alive and kicking, you have plenty of time to start over and find happiness for yourself. The length of your relationship alone doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s worth saving. You only have to worry about wasted time if you choose to stay in a relationship that was doomed from the beginning. Learn from your mistakes, move on and find someone who respects you.
  8. You’re probably out of his league. If you’re a decent person and you have your act together, you have a lot of options with dating. A guy who doesn’t respect you or deserve you will have absolutely nothing to offer you, so why stick around? You can do better.
  9. Trust your gut. You aren’t obligated to give him a chance when you already have a bad feeling about the guy. If you’re already skeptical and he keeps proving you right, just move on. You don’t have to sit around waiting to be treated well.
  10. When you value yourself, others will value you too. Before you seek respect from others, you should treat yourself with respect. Healthy self-esteem permeates every aspect of your life and it shows in your interactions with others. Carrying yourself with confidence acts as a deterrent for jerks and a magnet for good people.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at Inside.com. While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.