Your intuition is rarely wrong, so why do you spend so much time doubting it? A lot of the time, bad vibes are just that — bad vibes — and you shouldn’t ignore them, especially when it comes to guys you’re seeing. It’s completely natural to feel butterflies or temporary feelings of nervousness when things are still brand spanking new and you’re not sure where things are headed, but it’s another thing when you can’t shake the feeling that something’s not quite right. If you have a bad gut feeling about a guy, don’t ignore it because you’re probably onto something.
- You shouldn’t have to overthink the real deal. You hear a lot about those happy couples who say they “just knew” right away, so in reality, the bad vibes your intuition is sending you could be acting the same way in reverse. No matter how many times you’ve been hurt before that might cause you a bit of anxiety with a new man, the right one won’t make you question all the little details, because he’ll be showing you the ways you can trust him too. Every couple has a few wobbles of insecurity and uncertainty, but if yours becomes a feeling you just can’t shake to the point that it’s causing serious anxiety, you need to respect that.
- How many times have you kicked yourself before? You’ve felt off about a guy before but decided to play it out, only to be severely screwed over in the end. You look back and torture yourself for not following your gut feelings when they were knocking hard at your door. It’s not to say that you should pull the ripcord completely, but you definitely need to be self-aware of your intuitive feelings. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting new results. Learn from your mistakes and act on those lessons.
- Your body has a way of giving your heart a warning. Science proves that our bodies actually do have a way of connecting future possible danger to current situations and try to signal a warning to your brain, but the heart often prevails in matters of potential love. In this case, don’t let it.
- He should make you feel safe. Let’s be real here — you’ve probably had good experiences with love that didn’t start on a whirlwind of negative vibes, and as I said before, it does work in reverse. A budding relationship with the right guy should leave you with constant and positive feelings of excitement, not gnawing sensations of waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you’re regularly filled with dread, you need to stop and take stock of why that might be. You’ll never be able to relax and feel confident and safe in the relationship if in the back of your head, there’s a nagging voice telling you something’s off.
- Feeling insecure is a bad sign. While the insecurity you might feel with him could be completely your own issue that you need to deal with, it’s also largely possible that it’s a sign that things aren’t heading in the direction you want them to. Instead of wasting your time wondering, cut right to the chase. Communication is a solid way to cut the negative intuitions you’re feeling. If he’s constantly taking days in between text replies, or if he constantly bails on plans last minute and it gives you bad vibes, ask him straight up what’s up. Let’s hope he’ll be honest.
- Intuition rarely fails. Your intuition is your guide to keep you out of harm’s way and it’s usually pretty spot on. You know when you feel like you’re forgetting something and convince yourself you didn’t only arrive at your destination to discover you’ve totally left behind what you meant to bring? That’s your intuition giving you a warning. You need to give it more credit because it knows stuff that we don’t yet.
- Proceed with caution, if at all. If you want to forge ahead, by all means, do so — but keep your intuition in mind. Your gut isn’t trying to make you overthink or doubt that things could potentially work out. It’s merely giving you a warning to not invest too easily and with no doubts at all. If you try to push forward despite your gut waving massive red flags, there could be consequences you aren’t prepared to deal with.
- You deserve to feel amazing. You deserve a guy who’s going to make you feel like you don’t have to question any and every little detail. It’s completely natural and normal to be nervous in a new relationship, but as the past will dictate, your gut shouldn’t ever completely be ignored if you never want history to repeat itself. Normally, if you have a gut feeling about a guy, it’s generally pretty spot on, so be careful.
What to do when you have a bad gut feeling about a guy
Generally speaking, when your instinct is telling you that a guy is bad news, you’re best off cutting all ties immediately and walking away. However, if you aren’t ready (or aren’t in a position) to kick him to the curb right away, there are a few things you can do to deal with the situation.
- Tell him how you’re feeling. If you have a bad gut feeling about a guy around a very specific thing — you think he might be cheating with his ex or you worry he’s lying about his job, for instance — you could always try to confront him about this. Relationships are meant to be based on clear and honest communication, and if you’re going to go the distance with this guy, you should be able to go to him with concerns you have and he should be willing to explain himself and offer you some reassurance. You may discover in the end that he has a reasonable explanation for things that allay your fears and sense of dread.
- Do a little soul-searching. While I’m not insinuating that this is your problem, it’s totally reasonable to wonder if you could be projecting on this guy due to past experiences you’ve had. If you were abused, betrayed, lied to, or cheated on in previous relationships, it makes sense that the pain and disappointment from those situations would be carried forward with you in some way. Is it possible that you’re letting that baggage inform your feelings about this guy? If so, it may be worthwhile to seek therapy to work through these issues so that they don’t destroy all your relationships moving forward.
- Launch an investigation. If your bad gut feeling about this guy is about cheating or lying, see what you can find out on your own. A little searching online or talking to people you know in common could give you some answers that you’re seeking to either confirm your suspicions or prove that there’s nothing to worry about at all. While you don’t want to resort to snooping through his personal belongings because he deserves privacy, there are ways to gather knowledge without betraying him.
- Wait and watch. Maybe you feel a bit weird about things with him but you’re not quite sure if you really have anything to worry about or not. In this case, the best course of action may be to wait and watch. See if he does anything to raise further suspicions or if, as you get to know him more, you naturally feel relaxed and sure about him. Sometimes things like this just need to play out on their own and they find ways of working themselves out. As long as it doesn’t escalate, it may be a good idea to just see what happens.
- Be prepared to end things. If you simply can’t shake your bad gut feeling about this guy and no amount of talking it out, giving it time, or doing some self-assessment is helping things, you’ll have to face the fact that it’s not going to work out. You can’t stay in a relationship that makes you totally on edge and uncomfortable and he can’t do much else to change how you feel. In this case, it’s probably your best bet to end things and move on to a relationship that makes you feel a little more secure.