Don’t Get Played—12 Signs He’s Not Genuine

Maintaining a healthy relationship isn’t easy, and sometimes when problems start to emerge, many of us are either unable or simply unwilling to see them. It’s not like we’re purposely failing to acknowledge red flags or trying to tank our relationship, it’s just something that happens when we’re blinded by love. If you think you might be trying to convince yourself that everything’s great when it’s really night, here are some signs the guy you’re seeing is playing you.

  1. He dances around your questions. If you have any doubts and you try to share them with him, the least he can do is be honest with you. If you feel that he’s uncomfortable when you question him on his inconsistencies and tries to get around rather than confront your concerns, he’s playing you. If instead of saying he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, he starts talking about his commitment issues, that’s another sign he’s just dancing around the subject.
  2. His words aren’t in line with his actions. He says he wants to spend time with you but he cancels at the last minute. He says you’re important to him but he refuses to introduce you to his family. All those signs are proof that he’s being dishonest and that he’s clearly not trying to incorporate you into his world.
  3. He’s always busy. When you try to meet up, he always has something important to do like a  birthday party for a cousin you’ve never even heard of or a very important job meeting when he’s literally an admin assistant. He’s just incapable of finding some time for you. Someone who cares about you, even when busy, wants to spend as much time with you as they can and will move their schedule around to accommodate you.
  4. You’re always the one adapting to his schedule. Instead of working with you to make plans that suit both of you, you’re always the one making concessions to ensure that you actually get to see him. You cancel a night out with your friends or you postpone the work you have to do. A relationship is made of compromises from both sides. If you’re the only one making sacrifices, there’s a problem and it doesn’t come from you.
  5. Communication is complicated. It’s hard to reach him on his phone. He claims he’s “bad at texting” and doesn’t really like being on the phone. When you finally get to see him in person, he doesn’t seem to be very involved in the conversation. It seems like his mind is everywhere but with you. Let’s be clear, it’s not about you not being interesting and being too invasive, it’s about him acting like you don’t exist.
  6. He doesn’t talk about future commitments. When you’re in a relationship, one of the most exciting things is to start making plans with your partner. Whether it’s short or long-term plans, you want to build a future together according to the way you both see it. However, he seems to be running away from all conversations about your future together. It doesn’t look like you have a place in his, to be honest.
  7. He doesn’t include you with his friends and family. He’s met your friends and family but you haven’t met his. He’s very evasive when you ask questions about them. When there’s a family reunion, he’ll just “forget” to tell you or he’ll say that it’s going to be boring and you wouldn’t want to come. It seems like his friends are as busy as he is and when you get to meet them, they don’t really know much about you.
  8. He doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. Being in a relationship should make you feel loved. When your partner is looking at you, you want to feel like the most beautiful, most cherished woman in the world. The person you’re with should try to make you happy in any way they can, but when you’re with him, he’ll never point out the positive things. Instead, he’ll focus on the negative.
  9. He’s obsessed with talking about himself. It’s natural to want your partner to know about you and about the things that happen to you, but just like any conversation, it’s an exchange. You want to know about him as much as he wants to know about you. Yet when he talks, he only talks about himself. He shouldn’t have to make an effort to be interested in you. You can’t be with someone who’s so self-obsessed.
  10. He hides his phone. Of course your phone is private and you should never have to show its content to your partner. But if you have nothing to feel guilty about, then why hide your phone? If he hides his phone from you or if he doesn’t pick up the phone when you’re near him, that’s a sign he can be trusted and he’s playing you.
  11. He calls you for hookups rather than actual dates. He’s busy to go to the movies with you but will easily find some time for a hookup. You’re not his friend with benefits. You deserve someone who likes everything about you and who is just happy to go for a walk or have coffee with you.
  12. He clearly appears as a skirt-chaser. Most of his friends are women, he’s on good terms with his exes, his history with women is not simple, he’s clearly a skirt-chaser and you don’t want to be one of his trophies. What happens in the past stays in the past and you shouldn’t have to live side by side with his conquests.