Ladies, Don’t Make The Guys Do All The Work — Seduction Is A Two-Way Street

Men are often expected to be the ones to make the first move when it comes to making things happen in the bedroom, but to me, that seems like an outdated thought process. As a guy, this is why I think it’s high time we change the narrative on who should take the lead when it comes to seducing your partner:

  1. Seduction has been the man’s job for a while now. Isn’t it time for a change? At this point, we’ve all pretty much agreed that the guy should be doing all the pursuing when it comes to dating. After all, as the flawed logic goes, men want sex more than women, therefore they need to work for it. But shouldn’t we work to even the scales a little?
  2. Sex is important to BOTH people in a relationship. There are other important things that go into a relationship, but sex definitely helps build and maintain intimacy, trust, and communication. It takes away stress, it’s something that you and your partner can share — the benefits for your relationship are basically endless. Surely something so fundamental to a relationship shouldn’t be the sole responsibility of one party.
  3. It avoids all the eggs being in one basket. Because, after all, that basket might get frustrated and throw all the eggs on the ground in a huff. When both people take responsibility for initiating sex, it helps increase the chances of it happening in the first place.
  4. It’s frustrating to always be the seducer and never the seduced. You both agree that it’s physically and mentally good for you, and you both agree that it’s something you enjoy. So why is the same person always the one initiating things? It seems a little backwards to me. Plus, it’s frustrating never getting the chance to be seduced. Even a chef likes to have a home cooked meal now and again right?
  5. It breaks your routine. The person who initiates sex will usually set the pace for your sex life. And since humans are both creatures of habit and naturally lazy, it’s easy to fall into a routine. Switching up who does the seducing is an easy way to change up your sex schedule and help keep things interesting.
  6. It’s fun being seduced. Everyone wants to feel wanted. If you’re used to being the follower rather than the leader when it comes to initiating sex, it can be easy to forget that your partner might want to feel the same things, too. Both of you should get to experience that excitement of your partner not being able to keep their hands off you.
  7. You might like it. For some, it might be weird to step out of that comfort zone. But for others, the chase might be more fun than they expected. You might even discover that you like leading the seduction effort more than being seduced. Taking control every now and again can be fun, and you’ll never know just how much you’ll enjoy it until you make it a regular part of your routine.
  8. You’re probably really good at it. Let’s be honest — many women are just better at the art of seduction. Many dudes limit things to a nice dinner and (maybe) some flowers. But women have refined seduction to a delicate craft. A suggestive text here, some delicate unmentionables there — it’s all good stuff. When we try seduction, it’s often like a sledgehammer: sure, it’ll get the job done, but there’s no art to it.
  9. You’ll surprise him. Let me assure you — very few guys ever expects to be seduced. Like, ever. Every time you do it, it will be a huge ego boost for him AND a total surprise. Plus, we like it when we see our partner taking control of things in the bedroom.
  10. It’s all about balance. Relationships are full of give and take. The more balance you have, the easier your relationship gets. Even if you guys normally have distinct roles in the sexual part of your relationship, it’s healthy to change things up a bit so that both of you have equal push and pull in the bedroom. Give it a shot and see how it improves other aspects of your relationship, too!
Spencer is a freelance writer who loves writing articles that are fun to read and easy to understand. When he's not writing, he's usually listening to podcasts and traveling the world searching for the elusive perfect croissant.