Don’t Put Up With A Guy Who Constantly Blows You Off — Do This Instead

The dating world is full of flakes, so much so that sometimes it feels like you’re more likely to get stood up or blown off than you are to actually have the guy show up. If you’re dealing with a dude who cancels every time you try to schedule a date, here’s what you do to let him know you won’t tolerate such BS from him or anyone else.

  1. Stop making plans yourself. Why should you keep making plans with someone who apparently doesn’t want to hang out with you? If you’re the one who always comes up with date ideas or finds something fun to do, just stop it. Don’t put in the effort if he’s not going to do the same.
  2. Always, always, always let him come to you first. Since he doesn’t have respect for the plans you make together, again, stop putting in the effort for him — and then go a step further. Don’t text him to find out what he’s doing. Don’t call. Don’t comment on social media. After a series of blow-offs, let him come to you. If he doesn’t, well, then you have an answer.
  3. Make sure you have a plan B every single time. Don’t rely on someone who’s unreliable, and don’t plan your social life around someone who’s never there. It’s entirely your choice to keep giving someone chances after the big blow-off, but each time you plan a date, at least make sure you have a plan B in place. That way, your evening isn’t ruined just because he doesn’t show.
  4. Instead of leaving voicemail rants, keep it cool. Lots of guys often pull back because they’re worried that a woman will become “too couple-y” or start acting like they’re in a relationship. Instead of, you know, asking, they just blow off plans and dates. That is infuriating, but while your first instinct is to call and let a guy have it once he starts a slow fade, try to resist. Stay cool, stay calm, stay chill. It gives you the upper hand.
  5. Do your best ice queen impression. Seriously. Take that chill and wrap it around you. Be Elsa. Be untouchable. Be indifferent. It’s reverse psychology at this point — yet another silly dating game. The more upset you get, the more he’ll blow off your plans. Ain’t that a bitch?
  6. Tell him flat-out that he’s rude. Why not? It is rude to blow off someone with whom you’ve made plans. That’s rude. You don’t have to deliver a lecture or get out all of your feelings at once. Keep it simple, succinct, and concise: You’re rude, dude. He may not take it very well — or it’s possible he may not respond at all — but sometimes it feels good to get it off your chest. Besides, he probably acts that way because no one ever calls him out on it.
  7. Go right ahead with the plans he blew off. Why should his bad behavior ruin your fun? Do what you wanted to do. Head to the club, grab a pal and go to dinner, or take yourself to see a movie. Screw him. You should never let a guy determine how you live your life.
  8. Let him know he’s a waste of your time. Again, why not? He is. Odds are he probably won’t care, but he should be aware that his tricks aren’t cute. Honestly, anyone who thinks it’s okay to take a fade on confirmed plans without a word of explanation is just a jerk. Take a stand and tell him you’re not going to bother wasting another precious second on his fickle tail.
  9. Come up with clear boundaries. Let him know what you want out of a relationship and what you don’t want. Reassure his poor little fears that you’re not looking to get serious unless the two of you talk about it together, once you get to that point. Tell him what you expect, too. Naturally, you expect him to call or text if he knows damn well he’s not coming.
  10. Drop him like your worst habit. After a certain point, he doesn’t deserve any more chances, and you don’t need any additional hassles. Let me repeat: screw him. Invite him to go waste someone else’s time, then go on your merry way. Don’t let him come crawling back, either — this pattern doesn’t need to repeat itself.
west virginia native, new hampshire transplant, parisian in the depths of my unimpressed soul. owner of an impressive resting bitch face. writer and reader. fluent in sarcasm and snark. lover of lower case and the oxford comma.