I Don’t Want A Perfect Guy But I’d Like To At Least Find A Halfway Decent One

I don’t think I’m being unfair in saying semi-decent guys are hard to find. I’m also not naive; I know perfect love and perfect men can’t be found in this world, and that’s okay. However, where did all the guys go who might mess up sometimes but still have good and honest hearts? Nowadays, it almost seems like most of the guys in the dating world take advantage of what it’s become. Ugh, it’s the worst.

1. Those 3 a.m. texts we all hate getting have become WAY too common. I remember I used to get a few of these from different guys who had actual, legitimate girlfriends. Instead of thinking of their S.O. after a long night of drinking and partying, they thought about the single girls they thought they could still easily flirt with. I feel for those girlfriends who had no idea because there’s nothing more disrespectful. And on my end, there’s nothing worse than waking up to a text saying, “What’s up??” when I have to be up in three hours for work.
2. So has texting about important relationship things instead of a simple phone call. I have to admit, I do this one as well (honestly way too often). Sadly, I’ve seen it create so much of a barrier between open, true communication. It’s so much harder to look people in the eyes and say what you mean when there’s a phone to do it for you. Relationships will only continue to crash and burn with technology getting in the way.
3. Chivalry is pretty damn close to dead but I wish it wasn’t. I mean, this one hurts my heart. I once had an ex tell my friend that I needed to start paying for things because he couldn’t pay for it all. First, I’d always offered to pay my share. Second, I wasn’t an expensive date. If that’s the idea we have of chivalry nowadays, I’m afraid for the future.
4. Dates don’t always need lead to something more, nor should that always be expected. It’s entirely possible to go out to eat with someone and then actually leave after the date. Personally, I think that’s way more courteous and respectful anyway when you’re truly trying to get to know someone. I wish women didn’t always need to have that little assumption floating over our heads every time we’re asked out.
5. Also, WHY is not DTRing so acceptable? This is something that particularly just irks me. If guys are at all serious about who they’re seeing, they need to it properly. They have one amazing lady in front of them and that’s all they need, not the whole world. I think they should cherish what they’ve got instead of always asking for more and better. That alone could save the dating world.
6. There aren’t enough actual, deep conversations going on anymore. Everything is so surface-level. Until my current BF, I’d been hard-pressed to actually find someone who would talk life, love, faith, and politics with me. I don’t want to talk about the weather or pop-culture. Fill my mind with something that makes me think because there’s nothing more attractive than that.
7. An honest “I’m just not interested” is apparently way harder than ghosting. Ghosting is something I’ve seen from both the men and ladies, but it’s not like that makes it any better. Honestly, I’d argue that makes it 10 times worse because it’s seeped its way so far into our dating culture now. It isn’t at all out of the norm to just stop talking to somebody you aren’t interested in. Ladies and gents, here’s a hint—find little courage and give the person you were talking to some piece of mind instead of sending them on a wild goose chase.
8. Having multiple girls on speed-dial has just become the new norm. The fact that I’ve honestly seen that with a few guys makes me so upset. It’s okay to play the field and talk to a few different people to see who you like & what you like. However, the problem arises when guys are sending all those ladies, “What’s up??” texts in the early a.m. just to see who will answer. The worst part is when one or more of the ladies are under the impression that they’re the only one talking to this guy.
9. Feelings are just something that are always hidden from view. Why is it that we live in a society built on deception? Everyone is just out here trying to save a little face however they can. I think this is so evident in guys; they want to look tough and cool wherever they are, and can’t truly open up to others. It’s a dangerous road to continue down because I can already see it causing so many problems when our generation starts getting married. If the communication isn’t there now, it never will be.