“I think we should take a break” is probably one of the most dreaded phrases in a relationship. A thousand thoughts speed through your mind. What does this mean? Where do we go from here? Are we allowed to see other people while on this break? Should I just pack it all up and move on? Have I done something wrong to cause this? The truth is, there are many reasons why a guy could want a break even though he won’t come right out to say it.
- He wants to focus on himself for a while. It’s so easy to get caught up in the things that are “ours” and lose the things that are “yours” in a relationship. And it’s okay to take a step back, catch your breath, and rediscover who you are so you can come back and be stronger together. He might be asking for a break, but what he really wants is some space and time to himself, not the end of your relationship.
- He can’t make up his mind about you. When it comes to emotional awareness, some men are just very immature. They go into relationships without knowing what they want and when they’re in it, they’re completely clueless about what direction they want things to go in. They don’t know if they want to be with you or if they want to really end things so they’re just going to ask for a break and let distance and time decide for them.
- You’re not the person he sees in his future. In the beginning, he thought that you both wanted the same things. But as time went by, he realized that you don’t really share similar aspirations for the future. It’s not that he stopped loving you, but he can’t see a way to get what he wants and still end up with you down the road. He’s not quite ready to say goodbye to you yet, but he needs time to seriously consider the options and what’s willing to give up.
- He doesn’t feel the spark anymore. What we call love is really just a biochemical reaction in the brain that fades over time. It won’t last forever unless we put in the work into keeping it alive. And sometimes, no matter how hard you try to keep the butterflies buzzing, they still die, even when you’re not ready to let go yet. It might be that he’s at this point in the relationship, and he doesn’t think what you have is worth fighting for because the butterflies are gone.
- He’s feeling overwhelmed by the relationship. Maybe the relationship is moving a little faster than he’s comfortable with and he just needs things to slow down for a bit. Maybe you’ve been fighting a lot recently and he wants you both to take the time to figure out what’s causing the problems and whether they can be resolved. He probably still cares about you a great deal, he just doesn’t know how else to work through the issues in your relationship.
- There’s someone else in the picture. Sometimes, when a guy wants a break, what he means is that he’s fallen for another person. He likes you a lot and wants to have a serious relationship with you, but he also wants to sleep with this person without feeling guilty about it. Or maybe he’s more in love with this person than you and he wants to test out dating them while keeping you on retainer in case it doesn’t want out.
- He’s daydreaming about his life as a single man. Let’s be honest, casual dating can be exciting and loads of fun sometimes. It could be that he just misses that part of his life. Even though your relationship is satisfying, he’s grown bored of it for no reason. He thinks that he might be better off being single again rather than. He craves the excitement of meeting new people and going on terrible first dates, but just in case being back in the dating world sucks, he wants to be able to return to you.
- There are personal issues he’s trying to deal with. A guy can say he wants a break because there’s a lot going on in his life and needs to concentrate on them. He feels like he can’t split his time and attention between the issues he’s trying to resolve and your relationship. And he doesn’t want to make you feel ignored or uncared for during this time. He might not feel comfortable sharing these problems with you so he’d rather deal with them on his own.
- He has a commitment-phobia. When things start getting serious, a guy who’s terrified of commitment immediately starts looking for an exit. He’ll ask for a break because he doesn’t want to be “trapped” in a relationship. He’s not ready to build a life with you and this is a way of admitting it without dealing with the real issue.
- He’s not brave enough to actually break up with you. Some guys will just rather take the easy way out instead of officially ending the relationship. They’re cowards who don’t want to deal with your emotions or the difficulties and messiness of a real breakup. He’s just hoping that you’ll get the message along the road and dump him for good.
