After A Year Of Dating, He Still Claimed It Was “Too Soon” To Say “I Love You”

After A Year Of Dating, He Still Claimed It Was “Too Soon” To Say “I Love You” ©iStock/Izabela Habur

I fell for him because he seemed like an amazing guy, but what wasn’t so amazing was the fact that I never knew where I stood in the relationship. In fact, for the entire time we were together, he never even told me he loved me.

  1. I fell in love with him pretty much immediately but I held back for a while. I could feel myself falling for him from the very first date. There was an instant connection between us and it soon spread to deeper feelings… at least on my side. Still, I held back. How could I be sure that he was feeling the same love for me that I was feeling for him? What made it more difficult was that he wasn’t exactly the type to talk about his feelings.
  2. I waited for it, but those three little words never came. I decided I didn’t want to rush him to say “I love you,” so I tried to enjoy the relationship as it was. However, after dating him for about a year and still not hearing them, I started to worry that I was wasting my time. What if he didn’t feel the same? I couldn’t shake that concern and fear out of my head.
  3. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if he was showing me he cared. My friends said I should focus on his actions. Did he act like he loved me? I couldn’t really tell, and that was a huge red flag! Sure, I felt cared for when I was around him and he could be chivalrous, but what did that really mean? Was he in love or just enjoying our time together? What if he was a great guy with everyone? Just because he was a good boyfriend didn’t necessarily mean he loved me.
  4. I worried that he wasn’t saying it because he wasn’t feeling it. I started to wonder if he was just shy or just not into me. If he loved me, wouldn’t he say so? The fact that he wasn’t saying it told me that probably meant he didn’t. I tried to cool down my feverish thoughts but I didn’t want to wait any longer. I felt it wasn’t right to keep these feelings pent up inside. It was time to bite the bullet.
  5. I eventually just came out with it. One night while having dinner at his place, I told him that I was really enjoying our relationship and that I had feelings for him. I slowly opened up and told him that I was in love with him, but I ended up wishing I hadn’t.
  6. He didn’t know how to deal. Instead of grabbing my hands across the table and telling me how much he loved me, he went silent. It was so quiet, so much so that I could hear my heart beating from stress. He then told me that it was a bit too soon for our relationship to go there. Um, what?
  7. We’d been dating for a year! How was that too soon? I know that people reach the love stage at different times, but how could he not have felt any love for me in the entire year that we were together? Wasn’t that crazy? It sure felt that way to me.
  8. We were on different pages. Heck, it felt like we were reading from completely different books. Although he said he didn’t want to be rushed into love, I couldn’t help but feel that he just wasn’t picturing the same future of love and commitment for our relationship that was in my mind.
  9. It felt like he was stringing me along. I asked him where this left us. Were we going to stay together or go our separate ways? He said that we should just keep things as they were for the time being and that really felt like a blow to me because it was like he was just stringing me along. Who’s to say when he would ever get strong feelings for me if he hadn’t felt them yet? How long was “the time being”?
  10. It was a waste of my time to stay with him. It might sound harsh, but I just couldn’t picture myself staying in that relationship, waiting and waiting for him to fall in love with me. It was going to waste my time and I’d already wasted enough time on him. It really was better to take my love and move on.
  11. It really broke my heart to end things, but it was clear we wanted very different things from our relationship. I wasn’t getting what I needed from him (and probably never would). He clearly wasn’t going to get what he wanted either, so what was the point of staying together? I was done with waiting around for something that might never happen. I deserved better.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.