How Your Dream Guy Changes The Longer You’re Solo

How Your Dream Guy Changes The Longer You’re Solo ©iStock/GoodLifeStudio

When you’re young, the expectations you have for a boyfriend are pretty simple but also unrealistic — you figure he’s going to have all the qualities that you’re looking for, will understand you all the time and will pretty much anticipate your every move. Then you get older, you smarten up and you realize that’s not going to happen anytime soon. And the longer you’re single, the more your vision for that guy changes:

  1. You find a happy balance when it comes to your standards. You know settling is a bad idea and you refuse to do it, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t adjusted your standards to a bit more realistic level. You’re still picky, but you know that being TOO picky will only keep you from finding love so you know how to pick your battles.
  2. You don’t sweat the small stuff. Back when you thought being single was just a brief phase you were going through, you freaked out when a guy rescheduled a date or things didn’t go according to plan. Now you laugh at that naive girl because you couldn’t care less when things go wrong. As long as he’s a good guy, you don’t care.
  3. You welcome differences. You’re cool with someone who doesn’t think the exact same as you, who has totally different entertainment tastes and hobbies and whose career is pretty much the opposite of how you spend your days. That’s exciting, not terrifying. You believe opposites attract the longer it takes you to meet a decent guy.
  4. You’re over the chase. Sure, back when being single was actually kind of fun, it was cool when a guy played hard to get. You liked a challenge and you didn’t want things to be too easy. Now if a guy doesn’t make it super clear that he’s interested, you’re walking away.
  5. You value kindness. You don’t take nice guys for granted anymore, especially since so many of them are actually jerks. You want your dream guy to be a total sweetheart and good person, and you’ll take that over the mysterious or the life of the party any day.
  6. You want a guy with his act together. When you were younger, you dated guys based on how cute they were, if you shared the same college classes, if you hit it off at a party. But now it’s super necessary that your dream guy has a job, an apartment, and can take care of himself. You have your own act together so you’re not going to stand for someone who can barely find employment or do their laundry. No thanks.
  7. You want the opposite of your type. You can’t always help who you’re attracted to, but dating the same kinds of guys hasn’t exactly resulted in lasting love. You pretty much want the opposite of each and every one of your ex-boyfriends. If you can keep an open mind, why can’t you meet your new dream guy?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.