Things are going so well… and then all of a sudden he stops answering your texts. It hurts to get dumped out of nowhere, especially if you really assumed you had a future with him. If this happens to you, here’s how to cope.
- Realize that was probably just into the idea of romance. Some guys get caught up in the chase. They love feeling wanted and needed, but the second things start getting more comfortable, they stop having fun. It sucks that you got caught up in it, but just know that dumping you out of nowhere is literally the least romantic thing he could have done.
- Re-evaluate everything and see if you missed the red flags. It’s important not to dwell on this for too long, but it will help give you a little bit of closure. It’ll make you feel better knowing it definitely wasn’t anything you did or said, especially since you may be feeling a little self-conscious. If he was hesitant to make summer plans with you or didn’t want to go to that family event, it’s probably because he knew all along that this was only temporary.
- Don’t stalk his social media. A guy like this probably has another girlfriend lined up. In fact, he was probably flirting with her the second he felt things were stale with you. Don’t torture yourself by obsessing over her. Unfortunately, she’ll probably get burned the same way you did. Don’t reach out to her, since that will very easily look like a “jealous ex-girlfriend” move.
- Take some time for yourself. Seriously, you got conned. You thought you were with your soulmate but he was just talking nonsense this entire time. That means it’s time for a little self-care and pampering. Ditch the ice cream and chocolates because they’ll just make you feel worse later. Instead, book a massage or get a facial.
- If friends and family ask about the breakup, say he’s not who you thought he was. It’s true. Honestly, so many relationships fail, but if this guy was talking about the future with you and making you look up engagement rings, you deserve a little more reason as to why things ended. He broke up with you in a way that a middle schooler would.
- Remember that “not ready for anything serious” is code for “I met someone else.” If he dumps you since he claims he’s suddenly a commitment-phobe, that means two things. One, you’re the kind of girl worth settling down with. Two, he wants to screw some other girls. When you guys are on a serious path and this guy pulls the “not ready” card, he realized that he’ll probably end up cheating if he doesn’t end things ASAP. Honestly, maybe he’s doing you a favor.
- You’re allowed just one text. Use it wisely. If he suddenly dumps you, you have a right to ask questions, yes, but you don’t have the right to constantly harass him via text. Obviously, this guy wasn’t the one. He hurt you greatly. Why keep wasting time trying to get him to change his mind?
- Get creative. Some of the best songs were written thanks to a broken heart. Be productive with your emotions and paint an incredible photo, or pen a beautiful poem. It’ll help you get over him in a healthy way, and that art will help you symbolize the time you had together.
- Make sure to unlink any accounts. That sounds strange, but you don’t want to remember six months down the road that he’s still using your Netflix account. If he breaks up with you, he loses all the bonuses of being in a relationship. If you were together for a longer time and share financial accounts, it’s possible he may have blindsided you with a breakup hoping you might not remember. Separate and protect your stuff immediately.
- Stop thinking you could have changed the past. It makes no sense to revisit a situation and try to figure out what you could have done for a better result. There’s a better chance this guy just had a freakout or wasn’t all that into you. But the thing is, as harsh as his method may have been, he has a right to his own feelings. He chose to end things and that’s just the way it is. You may not like it, but you have to at least acknowledge it.
