My Emotions Are All Over The Place And I Don’t Know How To Fix Them

No matter what I do, I seem to be an emotional wreck. I don’t know if it’s just my hormones or what, but nothing I do seems to fix it. Here’s how I’m feeling and what I’ve tried- I don’t know what to do at this point to make it go away:

  1. I’m tired and lethargic a lot. There’s always some reason I can conjure up, but clearly there’s more at play. Either it’s too hot, it’s too gloomy, I’m all worn out physically, my emotions are making me tired … and on and on and on. There’s always something and no matter how I try, I can’t seem to gain energy.
  2. I’m moody AF. I’m all over the place. I’m up, I’m down, I’m irritable, I’m happy. In the course of one day I must go through at least six different moods. It makes me mad – it’s not like I enjoy being this way. Sometimes I can tell what’s causing it but mostly I have no idea.
  3. I gave up sugar – that didn’t work. It’s definitely helped a lot, but it hasn’t cured the problem. I do sleep better and I am a bit more even, but it seems like with all the lifestyle changes I’ve made, I’d be doing better than I am. I don’t understand my overactive brain.
  4. I gave up caffeine also – still not fixed. Again, it’s helped a bit – but I’ve given up everything at this point! No sugar, no alcohol, no caffeine – what’s next? Realistically, I’m not going to become vegan and juice all day. I already eat pretty healthy, but I’m not going to begrudge myself some cheating here and there.
  5. I tried sleeping more but I’m still tired. I know there is emotional stuff at play here, but I have so many reasons to be happy and excited for life. I try getting less sleep – I’m tired. I try sleeping in, but then I just never want to get up! I swear I would sleep all day if possible.
  6. Meditating just makes me even sleepier. I started meditating every day in order to boost my mood and positivity, but it seems to make me even lower energy! I have no sense of urgency and I float through my day. I can’t get enough done like that. It’s very frustrating when meditating isn’t helpful.
  7. Exercise helps, but it’s temporary. I definitely get an endorphin boost from exercise – I do it daily in order to stay sane. It helps a lot – for a little while. After a couple hours, I’m back to my low-energy self. It’s not as if I can just keep working out all day long – and I’d still be exhausted.
  8. I need to be productive and I can’t make myself do it. I don’t understand. Even when I know I have stuff that has to get done and I have no time to waste, I still put everything off and dawdle around. I’m not sure what’s going on in my brain when I openly just refuse to focus on required tasks.
  9. Even if it’s important to get up in the morning, I don’t do it. It takes a whole lot to drag me out of bed lately. Even when I have commitments, I can’t get up in time to get out of the house efficiently. I’m always running late even when I don’t need to be. It’s a huge issue and I’m terrible at solving it.
  10. Nothing motivates me anymore. Even if I get excited the night before about the next day, and tell myself I’m going to get up early and get it all done and have a great time, when the morning comes that’s all lost. All I care about is sleeping. I literally will not get up. I’m a mess.
  11. If I start crying, I can’t stop. I don’t get super sad often, but if my hormones are raging, watch out. Sometimes I have crying jags that last all night and I swear I’ll never stop. It’s horrible. I know it’s silly. I thought it was just PMS but it’s happening randomly now and I don’t understand.
  12. I spend money when I know I shouldn’t. I feel like I’ve eliminated so many bad methods of coping – i.e. drinking and over eating – but I still spend money I don’t have just because. What is that? I’ll know that I should cook and not waste money going out, but I feel like it, so I do it anyway. It’s bizarre.
  13. I have no time to waste and I’m still not motivated. I used to be hyper productive. There was never enough time in the day to achieve and accomplish everything. There still isn’t, but the difference is that I just can’t make myself care. It’s all important but I’m not getting it done and I’m freaked out that it doesn’t matter more to me.
  14. I want to figure out my life but I keep stalling anyway. I have important tasks to accomplish. I know my life isn’t going to advance until I get them done, but I just never get around to it. No matter how consistently I tell myself to snap out of it and focus, I’m not doing it. I just can’t get back to that mindset.
  15. I don’t understand where my focus went. I went through a hard time with a guy, but it wasn’t bad enough to throw me into a depression. I’m making excuses not to get things done, even though I hate myself for it! Being moody like this is detrimental to everything in my world and I just want to be back in the positive place I was in before.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.
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