Even If I’m Crazy About You, I’m Not Going To Make Out With You In Public

Some people think that seeing couples in love is endearing. I am not one of those people — at least, not when it comes to public displays of affection. I don’t want to see it and I don’t want to do it. No matter how much I’m interested in you, I have no interest in PDA. Here’s why:

  1. I prefer to keep my private life private. We’re living in an age where most people feel the need to post everything single thing they do and everything thought they have on the internet. That’s not me, though — I like to keep my profiles private and I’m very selective as to what I share on social media and life in general. If you’re going to be with me, I expect you to respect that I value my privacy.
  2. I never want to make anyone feel like the third wheel. I’ve been the single girl who feels left out because all her friends are all over their boyfriends. I never want to make another person feel that way. I want to be the type of couple that our friends actually want to hang out with. I don’t want to ever have to choose to not invite you to a group hang because my friends can’t stand when we’re all over each other. Honestly, I’d feel the same way if I were in their shoes.
  3. I don’t want to make other people uncomfortable. I’m not a person who cares what other people think, but I do care if I’m blatantly annoying. If I participated in PDA, I’d be a total hypocrite because I’d be doing something that when others do I openly hate. I don’t like to see anyone else’s romantic lives that on display. It just makes me uncomfortable, so I’m not going to turn around and do the same.
  4. I have to draw the line somewhere. Hand holding? Okay. Arm around my shoulder? Why not? A hug or a little kiss here or there? Perfectly fine. I’m not going to make out with you in public, though. I don’t care how much I like you — tongue is where I draw the line. There will be no fondling, no sexting while we’re with other people, and no having eye sex across the table. I have my limits and anything like that is far past it.
  5. I don’t need to prove my love for you. Not to anyone else at least. Putting our relationship on display shouldn’t infer that I like you more. I don’t need to prove how I feel, not in that way. What matters is how we act when we’re alone. I’ll still be affectionate in public. I’ll just show my interest in other ways—nonsexual ways because that part of my life is just private.
  6. There is a time and a place for intimacy. For me, that place is in private. That time is a time when we’re not in public. If I’m in public then I’m not in the mood for any sort of foreplay. Sure, I’ll hold hands and maybe give a light kiss, but I’ll leave the making out for a setting out of the public eye.
  7. I care about what children see. Anywhere we go in public there could be children right around the corner. We don’t need to flash our PDA for them. I don’t see sex or foreplay as a casual thing. That’s why I find it very inappropriate in a public setting. If you wouldn’t act that way in front of your family, then don’t act that way where any other families may be. In my mind, it’s just impolite and disrespectful.
  8. I think PDA lessens with maturity. High schoolers love to make out anywhere they can, but I’m not a teenager anymore. I don’t have to worry about my parents walking in on something. I have the privacy of my own home to do as I please so I don’t need to make the rest of the world my playground. I’m way too old for that crap.
  9. I’ll still love you in public. I’ll still be kind and make you feel special, I just won’t be all over you when we’re surrounded by other people. I’ll always be your girlfriend no matter where we are, but I won’t participate in PDA. We’ll have our public relationship and our private one. I just believe some things need to be kept separate and our physical love is just one of those things.
  10. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. I’m not a prude. I have a sex life, but that’s between my partner and me only. It’s nobody else’s business what I express physically to my partner. Not only do the things that happen in the bedroom stay there, but I’m not bringing the bedroom to the public. If you want to fool around, I deal with private displays of affection only. End of story.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.