At one point or another, we’ve all wondered why the guy we’re dating likes us and what he sees in us. However fleeting that thought may be, his good looks, big bank account or charming personality shouldn’t make you doubt yourself or your own worthiness to find love. When you start doubting your own desirability, here’s what you need to remember:
- Why wouldn’t he be into you? Sure, not everyone is compatible and there are plenty of reasons you two people might not be into each other, but he IS into you — and why wouldn’t he be? You’re smart, funny, independent and have so much to offer not only him but the world at large. You’re a total catch, and he obviously sees that.
- He sees your strengths, even if you don’t. You may lose sight of your amazing qualities from time to time and get caught up in your perceived flaws, but you’re your own worst critic. He sees all the wonderful things about you even when you don’t, which is a pretty amazing thing. Sometimes it’s okay for him to believe in you when you can’t find the strength to believe in yourself. You’ll get there.
- You don’t have to be crippled by your insecurities. We all have things about ourselves we wish we could change or improve upon, and we all doubt ourselves from time to time — that doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of love. The very thing you hate about yourself could be exactly what your guy loves about you. Don’t let your negative feelings about certain parts of your body of personality keep you from enjoying love.
- You don’t have to fit into a particular mold to be lovable. You don’t have to be six feet tall with a supermodel figure and blonde hair to be deemed attractive or lovable. Love doesn’t work that way. What makes two people click and fall in love are all the little idiosyncracies that make each of us unique and special. Erasing that would be erasing everything that makes you, you.
- Stop second-guessing yourself. He wouldn’t be in a relationship with you if he didn’t want to be. You have to stop worrying about what could go wrong or what might happen weeks, months or even years down the line so that you can enjoy living in the moment. An ending isn’t inevitable — you might go the distance with this guy if you’re able to get out of your own head and be present in the relationship.
- Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. You might feel insecure dating a handsome guy because you’re sure he’s out of your league, but that’s BS. First of all, he’s most definitely interested in you for more than just your looks — but even if it was just superficial, you can pretty much rest assured that he finds you beautiful just the way you are. Physical attraction can’t be explained or tightly defined. Trust that you’re beautiful to him as-is.
- You’re not other women, so don’t compare yourself to them. Maybe his ex-girlfriend is super gorgeous or you know an acquaintance likes him too and you think she’s way more amazing than you, but he’s not with either of them — he’s with you. Comparing yourself to other women is not only destructive to yourself and women as a whole, it’s also pointless in your relationship. You’re you, and that’s exactly who he wants to be with.
- Overthinking everything will only ruin it. Constantly wondering why he is on a date with you will ruin the date, much like it will ruin a relationship if you let this thought take hold and stick around. Sometimes the best thing to do is stop asking “Why?” and just accept that he wants to be with you, end of.