Everything You Need To Know About ‘Just The Tip’ Sex

You’re making out with a guy and things are getting hot and heavy. You feel that bulge in his pants, his hands are roaming all over your body, and you know what he wants. You don’t really want to have sex with him, but he’s already reaching for your underwear and begging you to let him use “just the tip.” Before you give in, here’s what you need to know about this sexual experience.

What is “just the tip” sex, anyway?

“Just the tip” is a phrase that refers to a sexual activity in which only the tip of a guy’s penis is inserted into your vagina or anus. This is sometimes considered a form of foreplay, as it can be used to build sexual tension and anticipation before engaging in full penetration. However, guys will often ask a female partner if they can insert “just the tip” if she seems hesitant to have sex with him but he still wants to get laid. The idea is that if he only inserts the tip of his penis, it doesn’t count as “real” sex and he’ll still get his rocks off.

It’s important to note that any type of sexual activity should always be consensual on both sides. If you express discomfort or want to stop at any point, he should do so immediately, no questions asked.

Why do guys use this excuse so often?

  1. They want to trick you into having full-on sex. The idea is that if you consent to a guy inserting “just the tip,” he’ll be able to get away with sticking the whole thing in. He’ll claim he slipped, and then once he’s all the way in once, you might as well keep going. After all, you’re already having sex, right?
  2. They think you’ll give in once they get started. Even though a guy might insist he only wants to put the tip in, he likely assumes that once you’ve had that much of him, he’ll be able to wear you down into having full-on penetrative sex. It’s manipulative, for sure. However, it’s also extremely common.
  3. It makes them seem concerned and caring. Maybe a guy claims he’ll only use the tip because he doesn’t want to hurt you. If you’re a virgin or relatively sexually inexperienced, this is likely the case. He wants you to think that your comfort is paramount to him. So, he’ll do you the favor of only pushing into you a bit to ensure you feel good. The likelihood of him stopping there is pretty much slim to none.
  4. They use it as a way to guilt-trip you. If you’re fooling around with a guy who’s clearly turned on, he might beg you to let him put “just the tip” inside of you. You don’t want to leave him with blue balls, do you? By letting him penetrate you even slightly, he’ll promise that will be enough. If you refuse him, he’ll be really upset and in pain. That’s the way he paints it!

Can you ever really have sex with “just the tip”?

Real talk: not really. You might start out with the best of intentions and think that if he’s just using the tip of his penis in you, you’ll both get the sensation of having sex without going all the way. Maybe you’re scared about having full-on sex with him or you’re just not ready and don’t want to. By allowing him to put his penis anywhere near your vagina, you think you’re making a compromise. Sadly, you might end up in the very situation you were trying to avoid.

More often than not, it’s never just the tip he’s putting into you. Nine times out of 10, you’ll end up having fully penetrative sex, even if you didn’t initiate it or consent to it originally. It’s very hard to stop once you get started, especially for guys. That being said, if you tell a guy to stop and to get off of you, he should do so immediately, no questions asked. You should never have to explain yourself.

Does it still count as sex when he’s only using the tip?

There are many different ways people define “sex,” but whether or not he’s only using the tip of his penis or the full thing, any penetration of your vagina is sex, end of. You don’t need to have all of him inside of you for that to be the case. Regardless of what you or he tell yourselves, this is the truth.

Chances are, if you’re asking this question, you may still be a virgin. It’s important to note that the old-school ideas about virginity — like that your hymen, the thin piece of tissue at the opening of your vagina, will remain “intact” until you have sex with a man — are outdated and untrue. A hymen can break for any number of reasons, from bike riding to wearing tampons to riding a horse. In many cases, you might not even be aware of it.

All that is to say that even if a guy only inserts the tip of his penis into your vagina, it’s still sex even if he didn’t break your hymen. Capiche?

Can you get pregnant from “just the tip” sex?

You sure can! Pregnancy is the result of sperm swimming up through your cervix and fertilizing an egg when you’re ovulating. A guy doesn’t need to have his full penis in you for that to happen. If he’s immature and desperate enough to beg for “just the tip” sex, he’s likely not going to have much control over when he comes or not. If he ejaculates on or in your vagina, no matter how little he is inside of you, there’s a chance you’ll get pregnant.

The only way to avoid pregnancy (at least 99% of the time) is to be on birth control and/or have your partner wear a condom. This way, if he gets a bit over-excited and ejaculates before pulling out, you won’t end up knocked up. In the odd case, even pre-ejaculate can contain leftover sperm and get you pregnant. Be careful out there!

Does it feel as good as full-on penetrative sex?

If we’re going to be honest, no. This is true for a number of reasons. First of all, unless you’re letting him put just the tip inside of you as a form of foreplay knowing it’s going to lead to full-blown sex, the whole experience is going to be less than stellar. Chances are, you’re doing it to appease him. You might be freaking out about getting pregnant, getting STDs, him going all the way when you don’t really want to, etc. Your mind isn’t going to relax enough to experience full pleasure. It kinda sucks, to be honest.

In contrast, full-on sex, when consensual, is sexy, pleasurable (usually? hopefully), and a whole lot of fun. If your partner knows how to please you and is committed to doing so, it feels really f**king good. You can be free to experiment with one another and try different positions. You can also give yourself over to feeling good and hopefully having some mind-blowing orgasms. Fingers crossed!

Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia