10 Signs Your Ex Doesn’t Want You Back

When someone you really like dumps you, you might hold on hope that the two of you will reunite in the future. Sometimes it works out, but oftentimes it doesn’t — especially if the two of you just aren’t all that compatible. It can be humiliating to pine after someone who’s trying to give you all the hints that they’ve moved forward. Here are some of the signs your ex will give you when they’re done for good.

  1. They’ve already blocked you on social media. Blocking someone online is the sign that they’re done with you. They don’t want you to contact them, nor do they want you getting firsthand information about their life. It hurts to see, but it’s also a healthy step towards moving forward. Don’t be tempted to make a new account to try and spy on them, since that will only make matters worse.
  2. And, so have their relatives. You might have had a great relationship with your ex’s mom, but now she’s seemingly vanished from your Facebook friends list. When an ex tells their family to unfriend you, it means they’re done for good.
  3. You’ve been fully reimbursed for any event you had plans. Maybe it was concert tickets, or even a vacation. No matter what, your ex has made it clear that they’re no longer interested in going. And, they made sure to settle it with you immediately so that there was no confusion on the matter, or a back-and-forth that required more communication with you. They just wanted to be done with it.
  4. Some of the things they’ve said during the breakup were absolutely hurtful. When someone’s hurt, they can often spit out words they don’t actually mean. But if your ex called you fat, or ugly, or something they know would sting you to the core, they’re not into you. If you have even an ounce of respect towards someone, you know not to use words or insults like that. Keep in mind that this isn’t the type of person you deserve. Anyone who tries to attack you based on looks isn’t capable of having an adult relationship.
  5. In their breakup speech, they said that “You’ll find someone else someday.” Note that they didn’t say how “maybe things will work out in the future,” or “maybe now’s just not the time for us.” They’re mentally imagining you with someone else. Any guy or girl who might still have some feelings attached wouldn’t even say such a thing. They’d try to keep you on the line, just in case their minds changed.
  6. Or, they’ve told you that you’ve “changed.” It happens to everyone. Sometimes you fall for an early version of someone, but don’t like who they’ve become. If your ex points out that you’re a different person, it’s impossible to revert back to your old self. (Nor should you, if your new version is more mature and confident.)
  7. They’ve responded to zero of your texts. Sending a “just thinking about you” text is a mistake, especially if it’s late at night and you’re lonely. But, some people might respond back anyway, since it’s an adjustment for both of you. If your ex goes radio silent, that’s a sign that you’re never going to hear from them again. You might want to delete their number from your contacts list to avoid any other future embarrassment.
  8. All of your mutual friends haven’t been in touch. If you’ve been with someone for a long time, you probably share a few friends. That makes the breakup even more complicated since instead of ending things with one person, you’re actually ending them with a group. Take it as a sign if nobody wants to reach out and continue supporting you as a friend. Not only do they side with your ex, but they feel like he or she is the only thing you had in common.
  9. They cheated on you. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal. But, it also sends a message — it says that this person isn’t satisfied in their relationship with you, and are willing to jeopardize that. The smart move would have been to break things off before things got to this point. They might call you when they’re bored or lonely, but they don’t really want you. They’ve already risked the possibility of losing you with no remorse.
  10. They’ve already moved onto someone new. It’s not completely wise to date someone immediately after a breakup, but if they did, it could be because they were over your relationship weeks before making it official. This message is loud and clear — they don’t want to be with you.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.