Forget The 4 Cs Of Engagement Rings—You Need These 16 Cs Of Great Relationships

Cut, color, clarity, and carat. These are the four qualities that people say make a stunning engagement ring. But forget about rings. You can have the biggest whopper of a diamond ring on your finger, but if you don’t have these 16 qualities in your relationship, it’s doomed.

  1. Care You want to feel cared for by your partner. Just because you’re an independent woman, it doesn’t mean the guy shouldn’t make you feel loved and special every day. It’s about appreciating you and not taking you for granted!
  2. Compassion Can your partner see things from your perspective? Does he care when you have a rough day? If he can’t be compassionate then he’s a selfish prick.
  3. Clarity Yes, a diamond ring should have clarity, but your relationship should too! You need a crystal clear relationship in which you know exactly where you stand. Your boyfriend’s intentions should be honest and open so that you can feel secure in the relationship and how he really feels about you.
  4. Communication This is a biggie and honestly, if you can’t talk to each other, you don’t have much going for you. But communication is more than just being able to talk about the big issues. It’s about being able to share who you are with each other, laugh together, and confide in each other like best mates. Communication is linked to trust.
  5. Compliments When your boyfriend tells you that your new hairstyle makes you look pretty, it’s a sign that he notices you and values you. He makes you feel good about yourself. And let’s be honest: it’s important to feel that the person you’re with still finds you hot AF even though you’ve been together for months or years. It keeps the spark alive.
  6. Collaboration Great relationships are about teamwork! You support each other and work together to achieve things. This is a must because it brings you closer and makes you feel like you’ve got each other to rely on. It’s powerful stuff.
  7. Creation You should both prioritize the relationship and want to create an amazing one together. When you grow as a couple and have the same desire to make the relationship beautiful, you’re on the same page and going in the same direction.
  8. Concentration Anyone can buy you a gorgeous engagement ring that suits your personal style, but what about giving you his undivided attention? The guy you’re with should be hungry for the words you say and what you’re about instead of phubbing you because he’s got his nose in his phone whenever you’re on a date. SMH.
  9. Challenge Your relationship should challenge you sometimes so that you can become a better person. Remember, your self-growth is important. When your partner can make you see things in a new way, motivate you, and help you face your darker personality traits, he’s allowing you to become your best self.
  10. Comfort While you’re being challenged, don’t forget that you should also be totally comfortable around your partner. You should feel you can be yourself, uncensored, without fear of being judged or ridiculed. What kind of life would it be to be with someone who makes you feel you’re not good enough?
  11. Choice Your partner should be with you because he wants you and can’t imagine being with anyone else. Likewise, you should want him, not just settle for less than what you deserve. You shouldn’t date for the sake of it! That only wastes your time and makes you unhappy AF.
  12. Chivalry Some people might roll their eyes at this word, but it boils down to having respect for one’s partner. When a guy opens the car door for you or gives you his jacket, it’s not about romance – it’s about showing you how thoughtful he is and it’s a sign that he’s going the extra mile for you.
  13. Consistency Your partner should be reliable and consistent, otherwise, how the hell can you be happy? You’ll be wondering when he’s going to go AWOL again or you’ll be walking on eggshells when he’s in one of his unpredictable moods. Ugh. You don’t deserve the stress.
  14. Commitment. If you don’t have commitment, what do you really have? Giving you an engagement ring is just one way for your boyfriend to show commitment, but it’s not the only way. A guy should be showing you that he’s committed to you and loves you every day, not just on the big days, like when he proposes marriage or on Valentine’s Day. FFS.
  15. Compatibility You might think opposites attract but in the long term? Not so much. Relationships require people who are on the same wavelength, otherwise, they’re not going to work well together. The fact that your boyfriend has very different interests to you might seem like fun in the beginning, but it can become a problem. Make sure you’ve got similar goals, future plans, interests, values, and morals.
  16. Chemistry You might think of chemistry as wanting to rip each other’s clothes off, and that’s awesome, but it’s also about chemistry on other levels. For instance, you want to feel an emotional and mental connection with your partner. When you satisfy each other in all ways, you’re getting the full package. And no engagement ring is as precious as that. Fact!


Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.