No woman would turn down a necklace made of diamonds, but that doesn’t mean they’re “a girl’s best friend.” It makes us sound shallow, like we need fancy things in order to be truly happy. Of course, that’s complete BS. There are much simpler things that can make us smile. The little things in life are really what help us get through the day and make it so much better.
- Yoga pants. You’re not a basic bitch for wearing yoga pants. We all do it. After all, they’re as cozy as can be, and they make your butt look amazing. It’s the only way you can get away with looking sexy on a lazy day.
- Dildos. If you own one of these, you probably aren’t all that upset over being single. After all, your rabbit can do more for you than a man ever could. It knows just what you need, so it won’t waste a half-hour fumbling around down there like your ex did.
- Matching winged eyeliner. We all have a love-hate relationship with eyeliner. When it cooperates with you and you end up creating the perfect wings that match on both sides, it’s your best friend in the world. But when those flicks just won’t come out right, then you’ll end up throwing the container.
- Proper grammar. How can you survive in this world when you don’t know the difference between “then” and “than”? Good grammar is a girl’s best friend, and anyone who uses good grammar is, too. Meanwhile, if a guy texts you while using the wrong form of “their,” he just lost his chance with you.
- Beanies. These are life savers on days when your hair is tangled, or days when your roots are showing, or days when you just don’t feel like showering. The best part? They look like a fashion statement, so no one will realize that you’re actually just covering up the mess underneath.
- Full length mirrors. How would we take cute selfies of our ensembles without full length mirrors? How would we see how adorable our new shoes looked? How would we check out our own asses?
- Pocketbooks. Boys have cargo shorts, we have pocketbooks. With a big enough bag, you can carry around your phone charger and an extra outfit. You can hide your tampons in the side zippers. You can even stow away snacks for the movie theater without getting caught. They’re blessings in disguise.
- Erotic novels. No, I’m not talking about Fifty Shades of Grey. I’m talking about well-developed romance stories that just so happen to have some kinky sex thrown in. Men love to watch online sex, but it’s easier for women to get off while reading. That’s why you should always have a book by your bedside.
- Netflix. When you’re sick, Netflix is there for you. After a breakup, Netflix is there for you. No matter how happy or sad you are, you’ll always have your queue to keep you company. It’s more reliable and comforting than any human best friend could ever be.
- Alcohol. When Netflix fails, there’s always a cold beer in the fridge with your name on it. Alcohol is like that one friend you know is no good for you, but you party with her anyway. She’ll make you feel warm and fuzzy until the morning when reality hits.
