If Your Friend Is Being Cheated On, You Have To Speak Up

Almost every person out there has been in the awkward position where they know that a friend is being cheated on. It’s a brutal position, especially if you’re friends with both members of that couple. Having the awkward discussion about infidelity is not something anyone wants to have, but if you value your friendships, it’s something that you’ll do. Here’s why:

  1. If your friend is unmarried, telling them can prevent a divorce later on. It’s better to deal with the drama of a breakup instead of the drama of a failed marriage. The sooner they find out the truth, the sooner they can get out, and the less damage will be done.
  2. Your friend might not trust you if they find out you knew all along but didn’t say anything. If your friend finds out that you knew all along, it’s very possible they will be unable to trust you. They may see you as siding with the cheater, or they might be wondering what else you’re hiding.
  3. Most people would want to know if their S.O. is cheating on them. If it were you, chances are that you would want to find out before things got even more serious than they already are, right? It’s best to follow the Golden Rule, and treat others as you would want to be treated.
  4. Cheating is indicative of serious ethical problems. In other words, you shouldn’t be upset if the cheater stops hanging out with you after you’ve outed them. While good people can make bad mistakes, the truth is that cheaters who flip out at those who call them on it aren’t good people to begin with. By losing a cheater as a friend, you free up time for people who are more deserving of your friendship — as well as people who are more trustworthy, too.
  5. If a pregnancy is involved, your friend might end up paying thousands of dollars in child support for a child that isn’t theirs. It happens more often than you think. A baby can be a life-ruiner, particularly if it’s not a child that your friend wanted to have. Children being “pinned” on the wrong father are more a more common occurrence than you think. You can prevent it from happening to your friend.
  6. Staying silent isn’t reducing drama. All that silence does, when it comes to cheating, is cause more drama later. The longer the infidelity goes on, the worse the explosion will be when it comes to a head. (See point #1 or point #5 for a good example.)
  7. If your friend begins to hate you for telling them the truth, they probably don’t deserve you in their lives. Some people refuse to have people who are brutally honest in their midst, and will only want people who will make them think everything is fine when reality says otherwise. This is just the way some people are. If they can’t respect you for telling them the truth, they probably don’t want to have honest friends at all.
  8. Being the one who is strong enough to say something also shows that you won’t tolerate that behavior around you. There’s a lot to be said about a person who makes a point of showing people that they don’t tolerate immoral behavior around them. Most people will respect that person, as well as that person’s entourage. You can be that person!
  9. It can be a health issue, too. It’s not a safe world out there. There are a lot of people who are having unprotected sex, and many of those people have STDs. Some might be annoying, but many can be potentially lethal. If someone is cheating on a lover, there’s always going to be a risk of STD transmission. If they don’t know about the cheating, they can’t get tested, and that’s putting their health at serious risk.
  10. Do it because it’s the right thing to do. Almost everyone agrees that giving a friend the heads up about a lover’s infidelity is the morally right thing to do. If not for any reason listed before, do it in order to be a better person, a better friend, and a better influence on society.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.