Friend or Frenemy? 8 Ways to Tell If She’s Shady

Friend or Frenemy? 8 Ways to Tell If She’s Shady ©iStock/Geber86

True friends are hard to come by,  and quality trumps quantity all day, every day. You could have tons of weekend warriors in your life who are always down to have a good time, but have you noticed how fast the number of friends around dwindles when the real hangover of life sets in? It can be hard to tell the loyal ones from the shady, but real friends are pretty easy to spot when you know what to look for.

  1. She’s happy for you, not jealous of you. She can celebrate your triumphs without trying to share in the limelight. Taking success out of the picture, she’s proud of you on the daily for simply being who you are, and sees all of your good qualities even when you can’t.
  2. Win or lose, she’s there for you. Sometimes she’ll be sitting with you on the couch, tissue box in one hand, glass of wine in the other, talking you through your problems. Other times she’ll be hundreds of miles away and will send a quick “I’m thinking about you” text. Either way, you know she’s on your team and that you have her support no matter what.
  3. You’re always in sync, no matter what. Life happens and a lot can change in a short time, especially at this point in our lives. Whenever you get together with her, she’s able to lovingly sift through your words and listen to your stories, knowing that through all the change you still remain the same core person.
  4. She’s got her own identity. She’s not trying to be you, and you’re not trying to be her. Of course you both share countless similarities – you’re best friends. But you also have your differences that neither of you are intimidated by.
  5. She doesn’t belittle you or put you down. Anyone who would try to make you look or feel bad, whether when you’re alone or with other people, is bad news.
  6. She “gets” your point of view… even if she doesn’t agree with it. It would be boring if you two agreed on everything – but she’s at least able to see where you’re coming from and can respect your sentiments.
  7. She’s all ears… and actually listens. She knows what excites you, upsets you, and pisses you off because she doesn’t just hear your words, she listens to what you’re saying. She also doesn’t take your words out of context for her benefit/your detriment.
  8. She brings her problems with you, to you. She realizes that her friendship with you is a revered space. When you two get in a tiff, which you inevitably will, she doesn’t air your dirty laundry out for everyone to see. She’s up front, just the way she should be.
Calli is a twenty-something business professional in the energy industry. In her spare time, she’s a cat mom, wine drinker, homebody socialite and somewhat of a rebel. You can find her at all hours exercising her intellectual curiosity in all things truth, love and self-betterment. You can read her blog here and find her on Instagram here.