Dating an emotionally unavailable guy can be stressful, confusing and emotionally draining. We often fail to single out these guys before wasting our time with them and instead blame ourselves for their unavailability and lack of commitment. The truth is, you can never win with a guy like this, no matter how much effort you put in. Here are a few things to watch out for so you can get out ASAP:
He makes dating feel like hanging out.
Even though you’re clearly out on a date, his informal attitude is sending you mixed signals. He acts as if dating you isn’t a big deal, and instead encourages you to act like his bro rather than his girlfriend (or potential girlfriend). His fake coolness is the first warning sign he’s not really available to date — not just you, but women in general.
He talks about his ex or about other women.
Dating is never the right time to discuss at your past relationships at length. If the guy keeps bringing up his ex in pretty much every conversation, he’s probably deliberately trying to distance himself from you because he’s not really over her yet. A guy who’s 100% emotionally available will never sabotage his date by discussing other women.
He takes one step backward every time you get close.
Every time you two have a good time together, the next day he turns from hot to cold. He either doesn’t contact you for days or when he replies to your texts, he’s cool and detached as if you’re strangers rather than two people on the road to a relationship.
He never says your name
. This may sound a bit weird, but I’ve found it to be very true. During the beginning stages of dating, you haven’t reached the level of intimacy to call each other by nicknames, so saying your name is part of him acknowledging your existence in his life. A guy who never says your name isn’t ready for emotional intimacy.
He tries to make you question your self-worth.
He doesn’t pay you any compliments or he trivializes your achievements by not responding to them in a positive way even though he likes to go on and on about how great his own life is. He does that so he doesn’t have to acknowledge how great you are, and how you’re not getting the treatment you deserve from him.
He lies… about anything.
Emotionally unavailable guys are bad liars. They don’t even try to lie in a convincing way because that would take effort and emotional intelligence, and they don’t have the time for all that.
He’s always regimented and never spontaneous.
You always stick to a pre-arranged plan when you go out. He never “wastes” time just hanging out with you and he makes it appear like his time is too precious to do something that requites spontaneity. Emotionally available guys don’t mind deciding what to do after they meet you because they’re excited about spending time with you and want to do it as much as possible.
He asks you to spend time at home instead of going out.
Emotionally unavailable guys are often too bored or tired to go out. Instead, they’ll invite you to their place to watch a movie together, which might be fun if the sexual chemistry is there. But later you’ll be left wondering what his deal is and why he doesn’t seem concerned about having a social life. The answer is that he has one and probably really values it, but you’re not part of it.
He wants you more when you play games with him.
If a guy needs you to ignore him, make him jealous, or play games to make him want you, chances are that he’s emotionally unavailable. Sure, playing games is a fun part of dating and many women do it, right? The truth is it may increase momentarily his interest, but it doesn’t increase his emotional availability, which is what matters the most.
His body language gives off negative signals.
When you are on a date you want to feel that the guys’s attention is on you. His body language speaks volumes about how interested he is in you. A guy who’s looking for a serious commitment will do things such as lean towards you when you talk or make strong eye contact. An emotionally unavailable guy will avoid doing any of the things that encourage you to have an emotional connection.
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