How To Get Past It When You Accidentally Think About Your Ex

How To Get Past It When You Accidentally Think About Your Ex ©iStock/Gremlin

After a breakup, we spend a lot of time trying to heal from the pain and just taking life one day at a time. Inevitably, we do get past it and successfully move on with our lives, and then it happens. One day, out of the blue, something reminds us of that ex we worked so hard to get over, and it throws us off in a big way. It can be hard to find that happy place again, but there are several steps we can take to move past it and forget him all over again.

  1. Remember why you broke up in the first place. If the trigger that made you think about him was a happy memory, you need to dig up the painful memories that made you realize he was bad for you. It’s not fun to think about the bad times, but it would be a lot worse to relive them.
  2. Remind yourself why you cut off contact with him. If you’ve managed to avoid thoughts of your ex for a while, it means you successfully cut him out of your life after the breakup, which is smart. Trying to remain friends with an ex is tricky, and it can lead to even more heartache, so don’t reopen that door once it’s locked.
  3. Think about how far you’ve come since the breakup. Remember how you felt like you couldn’t live without him? Well, look at you, living and thriving!
  4. Remind yourself that you’re better off without him. Think about all the ways he used to annoy you/drag you down, and then think about how much better your life is without all that negativity. You’d have to be crazy to allow him back into your life.
  5. Remember that you can only get to the future by moving forward. Revisiting a past relationship is the opposite of progress; it’s regression. You know you’re better off moving into the future, so stop looking in the rearview mirror and focus on what’s ahead of you.
  6. Talk to your friends, preferably ones who knew him. Your friends will have no problem reminding you that you better not even consider talking to him again. They remember how much pain you were in, and they’ll do anything necessary to keep you from going through that again.
  7. Take a deep breath and take it one day at a time. Just like you did immediately after the breakup, focus on living one day at a time and accomplish everything you set out to on a daily basis.
  8. Don’t unblock or stalk him on social media. It can be really tempting to take a peek and see what he’s up to, but don’t! It’s a trap! If you didn’t block him before, do it now so you won’t be tempted to peek at his page and inevitably end up asking “Who’s that bitch?”
  9. DO NOT call/text him. It sounds obvious, but it can sound tempting to make contact with him when you’ve been thinking about him. Don’t do it! Don’t allow yourself to rationalize it as a “friend” gesture, either. No good will come from reopening that wound.
  10. Remember that there’s someone better out there who’s waiting to meet you. If you’re hung up on your ex, you won’t be available to get to know the awesome guy who’s waiting for you to come along. Leave the past in the past; the future will be so much brighter.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.