Here’s Why “Going With The Flow” Could Be The Best Way To Approach Dating

No matter how badly you want to be in a relationship or how alone you may feel, you should never resort to forcing pieces to fit together with a guy when they just don’t. If you’re meant to be together, it’ll happen naturally. That’s why, no matter how hard it may seem, going with the flow is probably the best possible approach to dating. After all, good things take time — enjoy the process.

  1. It takes the pressure offTrying to control the fate of a relationship puts a lot of pressure on you and the guy you’re with — pressure the relationship will fare way better without. You’re constantly trying to steer the direction of where things will go, but not only can you not control what happens in the long run, you shouldn’t have to. Relax, breathe, and let things happen.
  2. It makes guys way less likely to bolt. One of the biggest turnoffs, regardless of gender, dealing with someone who comes off as desperate or trying too hard to make a relationship work. Being too overbearing is very overwhelming for another person to handle and it could actually end up being the thing that pushes him away.
  3. You’ll have time to actually enjoy your relationship. Spending so much time stressing about what’s going to happen with a guy and formulating plans on how to lock things down with him doesn’t leave you with much time to actually enjoy the relationship as it is now. You don’t want to look back months or even years from now and regret not appreciating the great things you had right there in front of you.
  4. You’ll experience the fun side of dating. Life might throw a lot of crap your way from time to time, but it should also be fun sometimes — especially when it comes to dating. You can’t have fun when you’re not living in the moment because you’re too busy being on the hunt for a husband. Sometimes you’ll end up dating a few duds — crap happens. Not every relationship is meant to last, but there’s one that will. You can’t force it.
  5. You’ll be happier when you realize not everything is in your control. Dating shouldn’t feel like a chore or an item on your to-do list. You can’t control everything in life, especially love, so why are you wasting so much energy trying? When you finally let loose and go with the flow, you’ll be a lot happier in general.
  6. Failed relationships won’t be quite so devastating. When you set your expectations too high in love, you leave a lot of room for disappointment. When you let things play out as they’re meant to, it makes the relationships that don’t work out a little bit less devastating. You’ll know that when one door closes, another opens — that’s the beauty of life and love.
  7. You’ll actually be able to get to know the guy without distractions. Once you stop worrying so much about whether or not he’ll get along with your family or if he’ll still be around to be the plus-one to your friend’s wedding next summer, you can actually take the time to get to know him for who he is. That can either strengthen your bond and lead to a serious relationship or it could show you that you’re not all that compatible. Either way, it’s a good thing.
  8. You’ll know you’re not forcing it. If something comes out of this relationship, at least you’ll know it was because you two truly care for each other and that things naturally evolved, not because you orchestrated the whole thing. It’s a much better feeling to know that a guy truly wants to be with you as opposed to you backing him into a corner or giving him an ultimatum.
  9. You’re not rushing into anything too quickly. Take your time and slow things down instead of rushing into a relationship too prematurely — doing so could save you a lot of time, energy, and heartbreak. When the time comes, it’ll either turn into something or fizzle out. Wait and see what happens before you make a poor judgment call — you’ll be glad you did.
  10. You’re less likely to choose the wrong guys. When you’re in a rush to lock down a guy as your boyfriend so you can officially say you’re no longer single, you’re way more likely to overlook red flags and justify bad behavior and end up with guys who are terrible for you. When you take a more laid-back approach, you can actually take the time to properly assess the person/situation to make sure it’s the right thing for you.
Lindsey is a Digital Advertising Professional and Freelance Writer based in New York City. In her spare time, she enjoys running, traveling, and drinking ridiculous amounts of coffee. Follow her on Twitter @lindseyruns