He Was A Great Friend But He Made A Terrible Boyfriend

I fell in love with my best guy friend and it felt like a fairytale… for awhile, anyway. Turns out, he was an amazing friend but he made a terrible boyfriend and we definitely didn’t live happily ever after.

  1. It felt like he cared more for me before we started dating. He was such an amazing guy friend. He’d listen when I needed to talk and he’d distract me with laughter and smiles when I just wanted to bottle things up. He was someone I could really confide in and we always had the best times together. When we were just friends, he was constantly telling me I deserved better guys but once we started dating, he made me feel like I didn’t deserve real love at all.
  2. Once we were together, he stopped communicating with me. It was like a wall went up overnight. Suddenly someone I had always felt comfortable being vulnerable with was closing himself off to me. I was the person who knew him better than anyone but I had to guess what he was thinking and how he felt because for some reason he could no longer just tell me. As friends, we were on the same page; as a couple, I was totally lost.
  3. Our time together became all about the physical aspects of a relationship. No matter how often we spent time together, the day or night always concluded in sex. I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy our sex life but eventually, it started to feel like that was really what our relationship was about. It was as if we didn’t have sex, he wouldn’t want to spend time with me. Every once in a while I just wanted to have a night of being with him emotionally and leave the physical aspect behind for a little.
  4. He didn’t know how to make me a priority. I felt so important in his life before but when I became his girlfriend, it was like moving to the bottom of the list. The truth is he didn’t know how to be a boyfriend. He was great friend material but not relationship material. I used to feel like I was one of the biggest parts of his life but after being his girlfriend, he made me feel utterly replaceable.
  5. We couldn’t hang out with our mutual friends anymore. The second I became his girlfriend, it was like he flipped a switch so that all of our time together had to be alone time. Despite being in the same friend group, it was like we couldn’t hang out with our friends at the same time. It was either guys’ night or girls’ night and any group activities had to be double dates.
  6. He turned from the shoulder I cried on to the boy who made the tears. When we were friends, he was the person I could always depend on but after we started dating, it was like he disappeared. He not only became unreliable but he also treated me like I was just any other girl and not a friend he’d loved for years. He knew everything my ex put me through and despite that, he turned right around and did the exact same things. He always acted like he was a better guy but in the end, he was just another jerk.
  7. He didn’t understand the difference between loving me and being in love. He was always confused about what he really felt for me. Did he love me in a way that just meant he cared about me or was he deeply in love with me and wanted to spend our lives together? Were we best friends or soulmates? He seemed so sure we were meant to be in the beginning but eventually, his confusion showed all over his face.
  8. We spent more time together when we were just friends. Once we were officially together, it was like his schedule suddenly filled up. We used to never get sick of each other no matter how much time we spent together but after I was his girlfriend, we couldn’t just hang out like we used to. Everything had to be a scheduled date and the worst part was he couldn’t seem to find any real time for me.
  9. I trusted my friend but all my boyfriend did was lie. When we were just friends, he always told me the absolute truth, but that all changed when we got together. He started to hide things from me and little white lies turned into big ones until we were just in this tangled web where I could no longer tell what was true and what was just a fabrication to hide his secrets. I knew everything about my best friend but my boyfriend felt like a stranger.
  10. He went from Prince Charming to a total player. Falling in love with my best friend felt like a dream come true but before I knew it, everything was a nightmare. He went from the perfect guy to just another guy who wanted to keep his options open. I thought we’d be living happily ever after but he wasn’t so ready to settle down. I would have never been willing to risk our friendship like that if I had known he wasn’t sure about me.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.