A Guy Accused Me Of Photoshopping My Profile Photo—Uh, What?

I hate it when people filter their selfies a little too much before posting them online. None of us have flawless skin and perfectly filled in roots and I refuse to present myself as something I’m not. That’s why I was absolutely horrified when a guy I met on a dating site told me that I’d “obviously” Photoshopped my profile picture. Whaaaat?

He brought it up on our first date. Interestingly, he didn’t mention the alleged Photoshop scandal when we’d been chatting in the weeks before our first real life date. He brought it up in person, which made it feel a bit like an interrogation, to be honest.

His reasoning? He said I looked “different” in real life. I mean, hearing that is anyone’s nightmare, but doesn’t everyone look slightly different in person than the way they do in photographs? He clarified what he meant by saying I looked good in person—better than in my pics even—but he thought I’d spent a little too much time on Photoshop editing my dating profile pic. WTF?

What the hell was this dude’s deal? I asked for clarification here. He’d clearly given this a lot of thought (maybe too much) because he told me that my makeup didn’t look realistic and he thought that my hair wasn’t that bright in real life so it had to have been “touched up” with a photo editing app, as he called it.

I tried to explain even though I really didn’t have to. I didn’t want him to think I was guilty of catfishing or something so I explained that my hair looked brighter in the picture because of the light and that my makeup really was that bold. I also told that him that while I’ve sometimes tweaked things like brightness and contrast in my photos (though not that specific one he was talking about), I’d never even used Photoshop.

He just wouldn’t let it go. He said, “OK, that’s fine, but you just looked a bit younger in your pic.” A-hole alert! Was that supposed to make me feel bad? Was he trying to be mean or was he just naturally a horrible person? I couldn’t believe the nerve of this guy.

I immediately knew he was a waste of time. Screw this guy. From the minute he started ranting about Photoshop, I knew that the date was officially over and we’d never see each other again. I couldn’t believe I was on a date with such a loser. I asked him what he meant by saying I looked younger online and he said he just thought the picture was too bright and the angle looked younger. What the hell does that even mean? What’s worse than a guy who makes hurtful comments is a guy who then can’t give a coherent reason for them that makes sense and sounds legit.

This was literally our only topic of conversation. This was pretty much all we talked about on our first date. The guy just wouldn’t let it rest. It’s fine if he had to ask for clarification on my photos, but to take it to such a level was beyond belief. It was humiliating and insulting! Not only was he implying that I’d stretched the truth with my photo but he was saying that he didn’t believe what I was saying when I was trying to explain myself. If he did, he would’ve changed the subject. He wouldn’t have pursued the topic.

Even worse, he was acting like a know-it-all jerk. This was worse than calling me a liar because it was like he knew more about my photos than I did myself. He insisted he could tell that I’d edited them and what I’d supposedly done to them and wouldn’t admit that he was wrong when I insisted that wasn’t the case.

He then complimented me. Just to throw me for a loop, he then said that he really did think I looked better in real life and he thought I was beautiful. “You still look young, anyway,” he thought to add. A little too late for that, jerk. Plus, it’s really not OK to try to make me feel bad about my age. Who cares if I look younger in my photos? It’s just his opinion and I refused to let it bring me down.

Did he have a hidden agenda? This guy was such a rollercoaster ride that I was starting to think that he was trying to insult me and shake me up on the first date, like maybe he liked to “neg” his dates or something by giving them a compliment followed by an insult. Does that crap even work?

He was superficial AF and just not for me. I didn’t want to be with that kind of guy, even if he’d only had nice things to say. He was clearly superficial and too preoccupied with appearance. He didn’t say one damn thing about my intelligence, kindness, or sense of humor, even in the weeks before we’d met in person. There are so many things that are more important about me than my looks and I want a guy who notices them.

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