Why The Guy Who Thinks He Doesn’t Deserve You Is The Only One Who Does

Why The Guy Who Thinks He Doesn’t Deserve You Is The Only One Who Does ©iStock/kali9

It’s usually safe to assume a guy who says he doesn’t deserve you either doesn’t think very highly of himself or he’s just not very interested in you and is trying to soften the blow. But context is everything — if he uses it as an excuse not to be with you, he’s not worth your time, but if he says it like he’s in awe over how he could have possibly landed a girl like you, then congratulations — you’ve found a keeper.

  1. He knows you deserve the best. Since you’re so amazing, there’s no way you should settle for anything less than you deserve. He probably believes you could get pretty much anyone you wanted and he’s astonished that you would choose him. That fact probably even gives him a little self-esteem boost too because he knows if he weren’t good enough, you wouldn’t be with him.
  2. He’ll always put you first. If he really believes you could have anyone you wanted, he’s going to do everything in his power to show you that he’s worthy of your love, and that includes putting a real effort into your relationship. He knows words don’t mean anything without the actions to back them up, so he’ll always put you first as a way to prove that he cares.
  3. He’ll always care what you think. Not only does he care what you think of him, but he also trusts your opinion in general. He knows you’re a smart cookie and he feels lucky to have you in his life. He might even go so far as to work on changing bad things about himself because he genuinely believes you’re worth the effort.
  4. He wants to be his best for you. Whether it’s growing out his facial hair because he knows you like it, perfecting the recipe for your favorite pasta dish or reading your favorite book, if he thinks it might impress you, he’s going to do it. He wants you to notice him and be interested in him and he knows the best way to do that is to show he cares about the things you care about.
  5. He wants you to be happy. Above all, a guy who genuinely cares about you wants you to be happy, even if that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re with him. It might not be easy, but unless he can give you what you deserve, he won’t hold you back from finding it with someone else.
  6. He won’t take you for granted. A guy who can’t believe his luck at ending up with a girl like you will always remember to appreciate what he has. He’s motivated to keep you happy so you’ll want to stick around, so you won’t find him blowing you off to hang out with his friends on a regular basis or acting like he’d be just fine if you weren’t around.
  7. He won’t go looking for something better. He believes you’re pretty much the cream of the crop and he can’t do better than you (besides, you shouldn’t be dating any guy who doesn’t believe this anyway). Even if the thought of being with other girls does cross his mind once in a while — he’s only human, after all — he’s genuinely not interested in being with anyone but you.
  8. He knows how good he has it. A guy who believes he’s finally found someone amazing has probably dated at least a few girls in the past that weren’t so good for him. He knows the difference between a girl he just wants to have fun with and a girl he sees a real future with, and you just so happen to be the latter.
  9. He’s motivated to become the best version of himself. The great thing here is that if a guy thinks you’re on a higher level, he knows he’ll always have to work to meet you there. This means he’s likely to be ambitious and always going for his goals, which is one of the best qualities a partner can have. This, in turn, will inspire you to continue on your path to keep leveling up. This makes for a very exciting and fulfilling relationship.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.