Women are said to be complicated and completely mysterious to men, but we don’t necessarily understand what motivates guys to do some of the stuff they do, either. To get to the bottom of some of the most obnoxious guy behavior, I decided to ask guys themselves, and I found out some of their answers pretty interesting (if not a bit infuriating at times).
- Ghosting. As one of my guy friends explained, guys ghost because they don’t know how to handle rejecting a woman. A woman’s tears are one thing that men just can’t feel comfortable around, no matter how many times it happens. So instead of dealing with the fallout, they ghost. It’s cowardly, but for them, it works.
- Getting a girl’s number, then not calling. It apparently happens for one of three reasons. For one, they might not remember who you are, and therefore won’t call. Some may have just wanted to see if they can get your number, while others legitimately lose your number by accident. One friend also mentioned that at times, guys can lose interest before you even get started. Go figure.
- Not wanting to commit. Men in this generation are the least likely to want to marry. Many of my guy friends, when I asked them, said that they simply don’t want marriage in their lives. Considering the anti-marriage messages pop culture sends to men, I can’t totally blame them. Men are, sadly, being told that marriage is a lose-lose situation for them. They often think that there’s something better around the corner, even when there’s nothing there.
- Sending penis pictures. I actually asked multiple guys this, and got multiple answers. The most common answer is that they’re hoping that it will turn the girl on, and that she’ll send a naughty pic in return. The other answer I got is that they want to show off what they have. I’ve also known guys who sent these photos to girls just to gross them out and get a reaction, but those guys aren’t my friends.
- Pulling away when things get too serious. Guys who pull away are often unsure of themselves or where the relationship is going. If you give them space, they’ll usually come back.
- Cancelling dates last minute. One friend explained it to me as such: “If a guy cancels a date at the last minute, he’s lost interest and doesn’t want to waste time. That being said, most guys who do last minute cancellations are jackasses.”
- Catcalling. Admittedly, I didn’t ask my guy friends this because they don’t catcall. So I asked the idiot who decided to do it to me right as I was getting on the subway. The guy thought that I’d feel flattered, and “[his] boys do it, so it’s okay.” Riiiight…
- Negging. This should be no surprise to anyone, but guys will “neg” you because they think that it’ll make you see him as dating material. This was actually all started by the Pick Up Artist community, but the problem is that the idea of a “neg” is very often misconstrued. Negs are actually not supposed to be hurtful. Instead, they’re supposed to be backhanded compliments. Unfortunately, you just end up with losers insulting women and thinking it’ll get them action.
- Freaking out over a girl’s number of partners. The answer I got: “It’s about insecurity. They’re worried that you’re going to be bored of them, or that they can’t measure up to what you’ve had in the past.”
- Refusing to show emotion. As one of my exes put it, “We’re afraid to show weakness. Most guys equate emotion with weakness of some sort. That, or we’re worried that girls will judge us for it.”
- Refusing to say sorry when they’re in the wrong. Though this isn’t totally normal, guys who refuse to say sorry are apparently guys who are stubborn and don’t want to admit wrongdoing. It makes sense, I guess?
- Dishing out private details with friends. According to one of my guy friends, it’s basically their way of showing off. Guys talk just as much as girls, if not more. They ask for relationship advice like we do, and when they’re bragging about sex, it’s their way of doing a victory dance. Another one of my friends added, “They also do it because they’re insecure about their ability to attract women at times.”
