Guys, We’re Not That Complicated — We Just Need You To Do These Simple Things

Women really aren’t as complicated as some guys like to think that we are. Most of us aren’t even big on cheesy romance — we just want to find a great guy who loves and respects us to spend our lives with and we don’t think that’s too much to ask. If a guy wants to keep me happy, for instance, it’s really not all that hard — all I want is for him to do these 12 things:

  1. Actually listen when I talk. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve spoken to guys and just known that they weren’t listening. This goes for first dates, relationships and everything in between. It’s seriously uncool. If a guy actually listens to me, shows interest in what I’m talking about and can even recall details of the conversation later, it means a lot.
  2. Surprise me. I don’t mean surprise me with a horse-drawn carriage, a bouquet of bright red roses and/or reservations at the fanciest restaurant in town. I’m not into that stuff and I just want to be real. If a guy can surprise me with my fave Starbucks order, tickets to a concert, or even tickets to a movie I really want to see, I’ll pretty much love him forever because it shows he was thinking of me and he truly knows what will make me smile.
  3. Make plans and keep them. So many relationships (almost and otherwise) are totally one-sided and I’m sick of having to be the planner 24/7. If a guy truly wants to win me over, he should make the plans once in a while. Suggesting we meet at a certain bar on Friday night at 7 might not seem like a huge deal, but to me, it’s massive. It shows he takes initiative and wants to see me enough to set a time to do so.
  4. Cook me dinner once in a while. No, ordering pizza doesn’t count, but making something super simple like pasta or a stir-fry definitely does. This small gesture really proves that a guy cares about me and wants to do something nice for me, and I’m always happy to return the favor.
  5. Text good morning and good night. When I can’t be with the guy that I love, I hope that he’s thinking about me… and that he’s still showing me how he feels. If a guy sends me good morning and good night texts, that’s pretty adorable and I’m into it. I don’t need clingy texters or 24/7 contact, but those two times of day are huge because that means I’m one of the first and last things on his mind.
  6. Have a good memory. It’s not like I expect guys to remember every single little thing that I say, but it would be nice if they remembered some of it. If a guy has a super good memory and can name more than two of my friends or remembers that I like extra ice in our morning Starbucks, I know that he’s taken a real interest in my life and that speaks volumes.
  7. Create inside jokes. These are the building blocks of a good relationship, even though they may seem silly and irrelevant. When a guy can come up with a really fun inside joke, I’m going to feel bonded to him even more. Laughter is one of the most important things you can have in a relationship and it’ll get you through a lot of tough times, so this is a biggie.
  8. Make me smile. If the guy I’m with can make I’m smiling no matter what’s going on, I’m going to remember that. This is one of those little things that is actually pretty huge. I remember how many guys made me cry and want to give up on everything, and I really feel grateful for those smiles.
  9. Cheer me up. I may love my life but that doesn’t mean that every day is a happy one. If my boyfriend can cheer me up and turn my mood around, that means a lot. It could be as simple as sending the right emoji at the right time or showing up at my apartment with my favorite take-out order.
  10. Hold my hand. Holding hands is such an old-fashioned thing… and that’s exactly why I love it so much. It takes me back to a time before Tinder, texting and almost relationships became such a big part of dating. It makes me believe that romance is possible. If a guy holds my hand, I’m sold.
  11. Stay calm. When the guy that I’m dating can stay super calm no matter what we’re discussing — whether we’re having the official talk, planning our first vacation, or moving things forward in our relationship — that means a lot to me. This may seem like no big deal to guys that are mature and chill, but I’ve dated enough immature losers to make this small thing seem massive.
  12. Ask about my jobs. Again, it might seem like absolutely no big deal, but there are so many guys out there who just can’t even when I say how much I love my career or what I did that day at the office. If a guy cares enough to constantly ask about my work life, well, I just might be seriously into him.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.