It seems like some guys only date women who love a bit of drama or come across as “crazy” due to their irrational behavior or actions. It may be surprising to the rest of the male population who prefer to have a laid-back partner and an easier, “smooth-sailing” type of lifestyle. However, according to men on several different Reddit threads, there are certain reasons why some guys opt for anything but. In fact, their preferences are a little surprising!
Do guys secretly prefer “crazy” women?
As much as this term is thrown around as an insult, especially when you call a guy out or do something he doesn’t understand or agree with, there are plenty of men who actually enjoy that quality in a partner and will specifically look for women who are little zanier.
- A “crazy” person equals crazy in bed. “They are a level up from their sane sisters in bed, and they tend to have high sex drives.” The number one reason why guys are attracted to “crazy” women is because they’re much more passionate than their “non-crazy” counterparts—and this passion ultimately makes them amazing sexual partners.
- Being “crazy” translates to being crazy in love with them. “Guys aren’t drawn so much to the crazy itself, but to the intensity of the good moments. All her emotions are super high energy. She’s insanely horny, she’s madly in love/lust with you, she’s deliriously happy with you, she admires you as something like a deity—and she doesn’t even ask all that much of you, just that you play along.” Basically, women who are highly emotional may sometimes have a lot of negative feelings towards their guy, but they’ll mostly be nothing but positive. And if you’re a man who lacks self-confidence, who wouldn’t want to be with someone who appears to loves them so much?
- It keeps them on their toes. “The same reason girls like jerks.” If a woman is argumentative and intense, some guys like this just as much as some ladies like a bad boy. This is because they like a bit of a challenge. They want to be the one that “tames” them. They also get the best of both worlds—a lady in the presence of company but a “toxic woman” behind closed doors.
- The relationship is never boring. “She’s a different woman every day. It’s like cheating with none of the guilt.” Just as much they love to be kept on their toes, guys typically don’t like the boring or mundane, and they hate when things become too routine. A relationship with a dramatic woman is much more interesting than the average relationship—some may even call it “fun.” Plus, the guy doesn’t need to look elsewhere to keep himself entertained when he’s already dealing with multiple personalities.
- They love the unpredictability. “There is always tension. You never know what will happen next…” Similarly, some guys don’t like being in predictable and seemingly “perfect” relationships. They don’t want to be comfortable—they want to be excited. Every. Single. Day.
- Crazy attracts crazy. “If a guy likes a crazy girl, it’s because he’s crazy too.” Sometimes opposites attract but other times “birds of a feather flock together.” If a guy is happy to stay with a woman he considers “dramatic,” then this is usually down to the fact that he’s exactly the same way.
- It may be all they know. “It’s usually a self-esteem issue on the guy’s part. If you look deeper it’s not just crazy they seek out, their whole way of life is really flawed as well. To be honest it’s not something that they consciously choose. It’s what they are attracted to.” According to some guys, they just can’t help but be attracted to dramatic women. Maybe they grew up surrounded by dramatic females or they’ve only ever dated this type of personality. Either way, they realize that nobody is perfect and that “everybody has a little crazy built-in.” Therefore, they’re happy to stay in their comfort zones and be with someone who is simply more open about it.
- Some mistake intensity for love. “A lot of these relationships mistake intensity for love. Usually, they get the worst types of undatable people, narcissists, or worse.” Similarly, those guys who struggle with insecurity or other deeper issues may find themselves being drawn to strong, “dramatic” women who over-compensate for whatever they’re lacking.
- Some guys don’t like dating dramatic women but are settling. “I’d say most people don’t like them, but people would rather settle for a crazy than go through the effort of finding a good woman.” Some guys aren’t necessarily compatible with dramatic women, or down for the “crazy,” but they simply don’t want to make the effort to find someone they might be better suited to. In this case, more fool them.
- It often creates a toxic relationship. “The crazies are usually really intense and passionate, it’s intoxicating and almost unavoidable even if you do recognize the crazy early on.” Finally, according to some guys, it’s difficult to get out of a toxic relationship with a “crazy” lady once you find yourself in one. That said, if the drama is all-consuming and becomes too much to handle for both of you, perhaps it’s time to call it a day.
What do guys mean when they call a woman “crazy,” anyway?
When a guy labels a woman “crazy,” it’s a bit of a loaded term, and the meaning can vary quite a bit depending on the context. Often, it’s unfortunately used as a dismissive way to avoid addressing genuine concerns or emotions you’re expressing — we’ve all been there. In some cases, it might be used when you’re showing strong emotions or reactions that the guy doesn’t want to deal with. Instead of engaging and trying to understand, it’s just easier to slap on the “crazy” label and move on.
On the other hand, sometimes people use the term to describe someone who seems unpredictable or who might have acted in a way that seemed irrational or overly emotional to them. Everyone, regardless of gender, can have moments of heightened emotions or reactions that might seem “over the top” to others. But it’s essential to remember that labeling someone, especially based on a single event or behavior, is rarely productive or fair.
Obviously, using the term “crazy” this way can be a bit problematic. It can minimize legitimate feelings or concerns and might even perpetuate some negative stereotypes about women being overly emotional or irrational. (Maybe if men didn’t do stuff to make us upset all the time…) So, if you ever find yourself on the receiving end of that label, remember it’s okay to stand up for yourself and ask for clarity. And if you’re ever tempted to use it, maybe take a moment to think about what you’re genuinely trying to convey and if there’s a more constructive way to express it.