You only get one shot at a first impression, so why not make it awesome? Here’s what those naturally charming people do to instantly connect with others:
1. They flash a genuine smile.
A forced, fake smile is easy to spot, but a warm and genuine smile lights up your face and makes you instantly more approachable, Inc. highlights. It sends a message of friendliness and openness, inviting other people to engage with you. Plus, the act of smiling can actually boost your own mood, creating a positive feedback loop!
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2. They make eye contact (but not in a creepy way).
Avoiding eye contact can make you seem nervous, shy, or even disinterested. Holding someone’s gaze for a few seconds conveys confidence and shows you’re paying attention. Of course, you don’t want to turn it into an intense staring contest – just a comfortable, friendly connection to acknowledge the other person.
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3. They give a firm handshake.
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As CBS News notes, your handshake can work for or against you. A limp, lifeless handshake feels weirdly unsettling, while a bone-crushing grip says “I’m trying too hard.” Aim for a firm (but not painful) handshake to exhibit confidence and make a positive physical connection. In today’s world of fist bumps and elbow greetings, a solid handshake still stands out as a sign of professionalism.
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4. They actually remember your name.
Everyone loves to feel acknowledged, and remembering someone’s name is one of the simplest, most effective ways to do that. Make a point to repeat their name when you’re introduced (“Nice to meet you, Sarah”) and try casually using it again later in the conversation. This small act conveys respect and makes the interaction feel personalized.
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5. They ditch the distractions.
Nothing screams “I’m not interested” louder than constantly scrolling through your phone mid-conversation. Show the person you’re with that they have your full attention by tucking your phone away and being present in the moment. They’ll feel valued, and you might be surprised how much more you enjoy the interaction without digital distractions.
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6. They ask questions and actually listen to the answers.
Instead of dominating the conversation, make it about the other person. Ask open-ended questions that go beyond the basic “What do you do?” Show genuine interest in their answers by following up and weaving those details back into the conversation. People love talking about themselves, and they’ll likely remember you as a great listener.
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7. They find something to compliment.
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Don’t go overboard or fake it, but noticing something you like about the person shows you’re paying attention. It could be their sense of style, a thoughtful comment they’ve made, even something simple like their welcoming smile. A genuine compliment is a simple way to make someone’s day and start the interaction on a positive note.
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8. They keep the negativity to themselves.
It’s tempting to bond over mutual annoyances, but complaining or bad-mouthing others on a first meeting leaves a bad taste. Focus on positive topics and show that you’re someone who sees the good in things. You can always save those rants about your awful commute for conversations with your close friends. Plus, research cited by CNBC shows that complaining actually makes you dumber too.
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9. They ditch the self-obsession.
Talking endlessly about your accomplishments is a surefire way to bore someone. It’s far more interesting to show genuine curiosity about others and let your own personality shine through in how you respond. Ask questions, share relevant anecdotes, and you’ll naturally leave a more well-rounded impression.
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10. They aren’t afraid of a little friendly self-deprecation.
Being able to laugh at yourself shows you have a good sense of humor and don’t take yourself too seriously. It makes you more relatable and helps put others at ease. Just be careful not to overdo it – if you’re constantly putting yourself down, it shifts from charming to a bit sad.
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11. They have open and welcoming body language.
Non-verbal communication speaks volumes, ScienceDirect explains. Avoid crossing your arms, fidgeting, or hunching over, as these gestures can signal defensiveness or disinterest. Instead, stand with relaxed posture, face the person you’re speaking with, and keep your hands visible to project openness and warmth.
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12. They project positive energy.
Enthusiasm is contagious! Even if you’re feeling a little bit nervous, try channeling excitement and interest in meeting new people. Your positive energy will rub off on others and create a more enjoyable interaction for everyone involved.
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13. They try to find common ground.
Discovering shared experiences, interests, or even just a mutual connection builds instant rapport. Pay attention to clues in the conversation – did you both grow up in the same hometown? Do you share a hobby? Highlighting these commonalities strengthens your connection and makes the conversation flow more easily.
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14. They’re fully present in the moment.
Avoid that urge to peek over their shoulder to see who else is in the room or mentally run through your to-do list. Show the person in front of you that they matter by giving them your full attention. This focused presence demonstrates respect and makes for a more meaningful interaction.
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15. They offer help without being pushy.
Is the person new to the event? Offer to introduce them to someone you know. Did you notice them trying to juggle too many things? Ask if you can hold something for them. Small acts of kindness go a long way in establishing you as a considerate and helpful person.
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16. They follow up if it’s appropriate.
If you had a great exchange and feel a genuine connection, don’t let it fade away. Shoot them a quick follow-up email or LinkedIn message expressing how much you enjoyed meeting them. This small effort could open doors for future collaborations, friendships, or even job opportunities.
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17. They aren’t afraid to be themselves.
Trying too hard to fit a mold or be someone you’re not is exhausting and usually pretty obvious. Let your personality shine through – your quirks, your sense of humor, and your genuine passions will make you both memorable and relatable. People are drawn to authenticity!
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18. They don’t sweat the small stuff.
Everyone makes the occasional slip-up – mispronouncing a name, tripping on a step, the list goes on. Don’t let those minor moments derail you. Laugh it off, apologize if needed, and move on – it’s your graceful recovery that people will remember most.
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