When it comes to relationships, moving on is pretty damn difficult, but letting go for good can be even harder. So how do you it, and what’s the difference between the two? Here are some pointers to help you figure out where your head and heart are at and what you can do about it:
Dating someone new.
Moving on means you figure that the only way to get over someone old is to get under someone new. You can refer to that as a rebound. Letting go means you’ve opened yourself up to someone new with no lingering feelings for your former flame. You’re finally free to love without limitations.
Mending the mistakes.
Moving on means accepting what happened, but still wishing that you could change it. You’re trying to remember all the bad in the relationship but for some reason the good overclouds it. Letting go means finally living without regret. You’ve fully recognized and accepted what was wrong with your relationship. You’re older, wiser, and finally feel like the mistakes taught you something.
Getting over the past.
Moving on means you’re still pushing through it. You still feel hurt and anger when you’re reminded of your relationship. It’s a transition, and you’re still figuring out the process. Letting go means you’ve transitioned into your new life. The past is in the past and you’re finally over what happened. You’re not reminded of your breakup everyday, but on occasion if you are, the anger is gone.
Moving on means you haven’t reached this stage of moving forward just yet. You want to forgive only so that you forget, but the hurt and the anger is still there. Letting go means you’ve let go of your anger and forgiven him and yourself for the mistakes that you made. You may never fully forget them, but you’re not bitter.
Moving on means you question whether relationships are really worth all of the pain. Should you even bother dating again? You may even convince yourself you’d be better off alone. Letting go means you don’t care about making your ex jealous. Your heart is ready for someone new. You realize that not all relationships are the same and the next one could be different, even if you remain a little cautious.
Keeping tabs on your ex.
Moving on means you change his name in your phone to some sort of insult as a reminder not to text or call even when you’re drunk AF. You’re in a struggle of not wanting to see his posts because it hurts and needing to see it, because you can’t stand not knowing. Letting go means you have deleted, unfollowed, and maybe even blocked. He’s not in your life anymore so you don’t really care what’s going on with him.
Seeing your ex with someone new.
Moving on means you feel angry and jealous. You’re probably hoping that she breaks his heart just like he broke yours. You’re stuck in a constant comparison of what she has that you don’t. Letting go means that when you hear about your ex’s new relationship it’s almost a shrug off the shoulder. He’s moving on and so have you. You know you’re better off apart, anyway.
Moving on means your girls know that you are ready to pack up your feelings and move on with your life, but the conversation is still very present. You talk about your ex and even still share your hurt and frustration on a regular basis. Letting go means your ex is no longer a topic of discussion. You don’t share and they don’t really ask, because there’s no need. Sure, he may come up from time to time, but only if you run into him or his gossip hits the grapevine.
Moving on means you return his stuff and throw out your personal reminders because you don’t want to remember him everywhere you look. It’s just too painful. Letting go means that every now and then, something triggers a memory, but you don’t feel pain anymore. It’s just something that once was; now it isn’t, and that’s OK.
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