Habits That Make You Unattractive, No Matter How You Look

Habits That Make You Unattractive, No Matter How You Look

True attractiveness goes beyond just physical appearance. Sure, good looks might catch someone’s eye, but it’s your habits and behaviors that determine whether they stick around. Here are some unattractive habits to be mindful of, regardless of how conventionally hot you are.

1. Constant negativity

Handsome young man in denim shirt standing outdoors.

Being around someone who constantly complains or sees the bad in everything is exhausting. It’s okay to vent sometimes, but a never-ending gloom cloud is a major turn-off. A negative attitude sucks the joy out of life and makes it hard to be around you, even if you have other great qualities. Try focusing on gratitude and seeing the silver lining – it’s way more attractive.

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2. Arrogance and bragging

Confidence is attractive, but arrogance is repulsive. Talking endlessly about your accomplishments or acting like you’re superior turns people off quickly. Let your achievements speak for themselves and practice humility. Being a big shot might impress some, but true connection comes from showing genuine interest in other people and being happy for their success too.

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3. Only talking about yourself

Conversations are a two-way street. If you dominate every interaction with your own stories and never show interest in other people, they’ll lose interest fast. Ask questions, listen attentively, and find ways to relate to the other person’s experiences. Instead of trying to be the star of the show, aim for a more balanced and engaging conversation.

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4. Being glued to your phone

It’s rude to constantly be on your phone when you’re with other people. It sends the message that you’re not fully present and disrespects the person you’re with. Unless it’s urgent, put your phone away and give your focus to the people you’re with. Showing your friends and loved ones that they matter is way more attractive than any text or notification.

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5. Bad hygiene

This one should be obvious. Neglecting basic grooming habits like showering, brushing your teeth, and wearing clean clothes is a major red flag, no matter how physically attractive you are. Taking care of your appearance shows self-respect and consideration for other people. Make a little effort – freshness is always attractive.

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6. Trash-talking people

Constantly tearing down other people makes you seem insecure and mean. If you spend most of your time gossiping, people will assume you do the same about them when they’re not around. Focus on lifting other people up instead of tearing them down. It makes you more likable, and honestly, just feels a whole lot better than dwelling on negativity.

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7. Jealousy and possessiveness

While a little jealousy is natural, extreme insecurity is unattractive. Needing constant validation or trying to control your partner’s behavior is a recipe for a toxic relationship. Trust is the foundation of any healthy connection. Instead of getting consumed by jealousy, focus on building your own self-esteem and communicating honestly with your partner.

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8. Chronic lateness

hipster guy with glasses standing outside office

Being consistently late shows that you don’t value other people’s time. It sends the message that you consider your schedule more important than everyone else’s. Life happens, and sometimes you’ll be running behind, but chronic lateness is disrespectful and frustrating for everyone else involved. Aim to be on time or, better yet, a few minutes early!\

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9. A lack of curiosity

Being incurious about the world and those around you makes you seem dull and self-absorbed. Show interest in learning new things and expanding your horizons. Ask questions, explore new hobbies, and try to see things from different perspectives. A thirst for knowledge and a willingness to grow make you infinitely more interesting.

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10. Unwillingness to compromise

Always needing to get your way makes you difficult to be around. Healthy relationships require give and take, and an inability to compromise breeds resentment. Relationships are about teamwork, not dictatorship. Learn to meet in the middle and find solutions that work for both of you.

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11. Playing emotional games

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Passive-aggressiveness, giving the silent treatment, or intentionally trying to provoke jealousy are all manipulative behaviors that sabotage trust and connection. Communicate directly and honestly, even when it’s difficult. Mature relationships thrive on transparency, not drama games.

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12. Refusing to take responsibility

Blaming anyone and everyone else for your problems or never admitting when you’re wrong makes you seem immature. Own your mistakes and learn from them – it’s a major sign of growth. Nobody’s perfect, but how you handle your missteps reflects your character. Taking accountability fosters trust and shows a willingness to improve.

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13. Flakiness

Canceling plans at the last minute or making promises you don’t keep erodes trust. If people can’t rely on you, they won’t bother including you in their lives. Of course, emergencies happen, but consistently flaking out is just disrespectful. Think twice before committing, and when you do, show up and follow through.

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14. Lack of boundaries

Being a doormat or letting people walk all over you isn’t endearing – it undermines your self-respect. Having healthy boundaries and asserting your needs is crucial. People-pleasing might feel nice in the moment, but it leads to burnout and resentment. Set clear expectations and don’t be afraid to say “no” when something doesn’t align with your values or well-being.

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15. Being closed-minded

Refusing to consider perspectives different from your own makes you seem rigid and unteachable. Be open to new ideas and experiences – it makes you more interesting and easier to get along with. Life is full of nuance; leave room for growth and respect for viewpoints that differ from your own. Having strong convictions is great, but being unwilling to learn and evolve limits your potential for connection.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.
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