Have NBSB? You Probably Face These 10 Challenges

Have NBSB? You Probably Face These 10 Challenges ©iStock/BakiBG

If you’re in your 20s and 30s, you’ve likely had a bit of experience when it comes to sex and relationships — maybe even a whole lot of experience. Between hookups, almost relationships and those ever-elusive long-term loves, you’ve met your fair share of guys… but what if you haven’t? What if you’re hopelessly NBSB — that’s “no boyfriend since birth” — and for all your good intentions, have never actually been with a guy? You’ll probably relate to these struggles.

  1. Guys freak out when they realize they might be your first… everything. Either that or he thinks that you’ll be a super possessive and clingy girlfriend due to your lack of experience. Whichever it is, you know he may end up not taking you seriously because of the dumbfounding revelation. You lost the opportunity to know him more just because of your NBSB status.
  2. People jokingly ask you all the time whether you want to be a nun. There’s nothing wrong with being a nun if that’s your calling, but just because you’ve been boyfriend-less since birth doesn’t mean you wouldn’t like one — you just haven’t found the right one.
  3. Even your gynecologist is skeptical. When you tell your OBGYN that you’re still a virgin, your statement is always met with a skeptical look and a raised eyebrow. Still still asks you if you’ve considered going on birth control and encourages you to take free condoms every time you leave.
  4. You hate family gatherings because of your nosy relatives. Your Aunt Sally never forgets to check on your relationship status and your answer has always been the same: “You’ll be the first to know when I have a boyfriend, so can we stop talking about this now?”
  5. Friends and family are constantly trying to set you up on blind datesWhile you appreciate your loved ones’ good intentions, you can’t help but feel annoyed by how invested they are in your NBSB status.
  6. People try to console you about your permanently single status. Sometimes you appreciate their unmatched passion for helping you land a boyfriend; other times, you want to accept their consolation while you throw yourself a pity party because they kind of have a point. You’ve been a part of the NBSB community for so long, and it seriously sucks sometimes.
  7. Your besties talk about their sexcapades in your presence but you just can’t relate. While you’re happy about how they’re enjoying their relationships and partners, you feel lost in the conversation because you simply don’t get what they’re talking about. You want to, though… really badly.
  8. Your friends also offer you unsolicited relationships and sex adviceAnd you can’t help but look at the universe and wonder when you’ll be able to benefit from all of your besties’ words of wisdom.
  9. They never fail to remind you to lower your standards. You want to tell them you don’t even know what your standards are because you don’t have an idea about this whole “standards” thing, but you realize you should just keep your mouth shut.
  10. You seem to be the only one who believes in the old adage, “All good things come to those who wait.” Mr. Right hasn’t found you yet, but that’s OK. You know he’ll come around when it’s the right time. If only other people agreed with this!
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.