Blaming jerk behavior on having a “hard life” or dealing with adversity is a BS excuse, but it seems almost like an epidemic among men (and women) of our generation. Just because you’ve been through difficult times doesn’t give you the right to treat other people like crap, so knock it off.
- It’s victim mentality, and that isn’t healthy. People who see themselves as victims will always shift blame onto others. This means that people who are allowed to act this way will constantly clamor for more and more special treatment, while also refusing to accept any responsibility for their own actions. This creates an unhealthy dynamic for everyone involved, and the only way to avoid that is to nip it in the bud by refusing to allow it.
- You don’t know what other people have been through. Simply put, just because someone acts happy doesn’t mean that they always are. You can’t assume that people have a charmed life and that you’re the only one who’s had a hard life. In fact, the most sympathetic people are usually the ones who have gone through the most.
- Others have gone through worse, and have become better people because of it. People on this planet have endured genocide, murder attempts, rapes, and torture of all sorts. Many, if not most, of those survivors are still decent human beings. What makes this victim so special that he can’t recover from what he’s seen?
- Nine times out of 10, the person you lash out at isn’t the person who wronged you. If you have to unleash fury at someone, why not unleash it on the person who actually messed up your life? Why hurt others who never hurt you? There’s no reason to harm people who weren’t associated with anything that actually sparked whatever pain you’re acting out.
- No amount of pain you inflict on others will take back the past. The past can never be changed, and what’s done is done. You can either make a choice to make something beautiful in the future, or you can let the past anger consume you and your victims. Which do you think you should choose? Similarly, you can choose to avoid dealing with toxic people who will make your future one of pain and hatred. Which one should you logically choose?
- Hurting others won’t make you feel better about yourself. Hurting other people will only make you feel guilty in the long run. It’ll also make you very alone, since abusive personalities will almost always lose friends due to their bad behavior.
- Refusing to put up with this excuse is also self-preservation. Calling people out on their stuff and cutting them off doesn’t make you a horrible person. It just makes you someone with decent survival skills. Just because XYZ ruined their life doesn’t mean you have to let it ruin yours by proxy.
- Sometimes people need a serious reality check. Sometimes, we’re consumed by our negativity and we need a smack of reality to make us realize when we’re acting like fools. This is especially true if it was a one-off outburst that dealt with a recent issue. Of course, if someone regularly engages in unacceptable behavior, you might want to cut them out of your life altogether.
- You’ll feel better about yourself. Any excuse a person uses to treat you like crap that you accept will lead to more of the same. You know you don’t deserve it, and by standing up for yourself, you’re proving it to them and yourself.
