Having To Hold In Farts & 10 Other Struggles Of Always Being The Little Spoon

Spooning is a lovely way to get close to your person but cuddling in this way comes with some challenges, especially if you’re the small spoon. Here are some you’re likely to deal with if this is your default position:

  1. Breathing in your ear This one’s a silly one but it’s so true. When your partner’s all snuggled up against you, they have to breathe somewhere. It’s going to be right on you because they’re pretty much laying on you already. It’s not very romantic to be breathed on, so let’s just hope their breath is okay.
  2. Not wanting to move for fear of jabbing your partner You’re squished under their arms and laying right up against them. You want to move to scratch an itch but you accidentally jab them in the stomach. There’s not much wiggle room when being the little spoon. You sort of have to stay put. Then you’re stuck in spooning paralysis while your limbs casually fall asleep and your itches cry to be scratched.
  3. The whole awkward arm thing This may be one of the most widely despised struggle of being the small spoon. I’m talking about that awkward arm that’s falling asleep or you just don’t know where to put it. You finally find a proper resting place and it’s slowly crushed under the weight of your partner. No matter what you do, you can’t avoid awkward arm when cuddling—especially as the little spoon.
  4. Having a heavy weight on you This may not always be the case, but sometimes your spooning partner’s arm and body pressed against you can feel really heavy. You think you’re in for a sweet cuddle session but then you’re struggling to breathe. It doesn’t really matter what position you’re in—you can feel the weight of the other person if it’s been awhile that you’ve been cuddling.
  5. Not being able to see the person I don’t know about you, but I like to look at someone when we’re having a conversation. This isn’t possible when you’re the little spoon because you’re generally facing away from your spooning buddy. They’ll just be talking behind you while you talk into the open air in front of you. It’s an interesting dynamic.
  6. Erections against your butt We’ve all been there. You hunker down, get all comfortable, then you start to feel something rise against your butt. He probably can’t help it, but it doesn’t make things less awkward when you’re just trying to cuddle. As long as he doesn’t start pressing himself into you without your permission, the best way to deal with this is to just have a sense of humor about it all.
  7. If they fall asleep, it’s on you You could be watching a movie with your partner and next thing you know they’re snoozing. If they fall asleep though it isn’t laying back off of you. No, it’s laying right on top of you with their heavy body. It may be cute for a hot second until you start to feel the pressure of their weight. Not to mention you’re stuck watching the movie alone. Who wants that?
  8. You’re not sure what to do with your hair As a woman, you may have hair that gets in the way. You’re lying in front of your boo and your hair is in a ball on their face. It’s a struggle because you can’t really put it anywhere, either. You can try to tuck it away, but chances are it’s still getting in your big spoon’s face. Whether you put it up or keep it down, it’s a nuisance.
  9. Getting sweaty Cuddling is the absolute best, but sometimes you start to sweat during it. Especially as the little spoon, you’ve got someone holding your entire body. You’re bound to break out in some sweat while your spooning partner is lovingly holding you. It’s not super sexy to be sweaty while you’re touching another person, but chances are that they’re sweating, too.
  10. Scruff may rub up against you If you’re cuddling a dude, there’s the possibility of scruff rubbing up against you. This may be cute for a moment or two, but then it’s likely to get annoying and maybe even a bit painful. Since it’s not cool to call your guy out for not shaving, you’ll just have to deal.
  11. Having to hold in farts This may seem like a silly one, but you try being the little spoon when all of a sudden you have to fart. It’s time to clench those cheeks because it’s quite rude to fart on your spooning partner. If they had to fart, though, it wouldn’t be a big deal as long as you two were comfortable with each other. Their farting blast would be directed outward instead of onto you.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.