He May Like You, But Does He Respect You?

When you start talking to someone new, it’s pretty easy to tell if he’s into you or not. But a much bigger (and more important) question is whether or not he really respects you. You owe it to yourself to be with a guy who shows you the respect you deserve, so before you get serious with this dude, make sure he’s showing these crucial signs:

  1. He asks for your honest opinions. Whether it’s about politics or just the color he should paint his living room, he genuinely wants to know what you think. A man who respects you values your mind, so he’s going to place a lot of importance on what you think.
  2. He listens to your point of view when you argue. There’s nothing worse than a guy who either talks over you when you argue or is just waiting his turn to speak instead of hearing you out. If the guy you’re seeing takes the time to pay attention to what you have to say even when things get heated, it shows that he cares about you getting your word in even when he’s engaged in battle mode.
  3. He apologizes for his actions rather than your feelings. “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not an apology. Neither is “I’m sorry you’re offended by what I said.” These non-apologies often come from people who think that they’re above doing any wrong. If a guy messes up and then apologizes by saying, “I’m sorry for what I did,” THAT’S the kind you want to keep around.
  4. He wants to hang out with you during the day. He’s not just texting you at 10 p.m. for a booty call. When a guy truly respects you, he values more than just what you can offer him late at night. He wants to go out with you in public and show you off and spend time with you fully clothed. This dude knows you’re worth so much more than just a fun night, and he’s not afraid to show it.
  5. He’s sincere. He doesn’t spit out pretty words just because he knows they’re what you want to hear. His compliments are genuine, and when he talks about future plans with you, he has every intention of making them happen. A sincere man doesn’t play around with your heart, and the words that come out of his mouth prove that he isn’t just trying to use you for a good time.
  6. He spends time with you even when sex isn’t an option. Is he coming over even when you’re sick or on your period? Does he show up at your grandma’s birthday party even though he knows you won’t be staying the night afterwards? Then good news: this guy respects the hell out of you. He likes all of you, not just your body, and he loves hanging out with you regardless of whether or not it’s going to lead to him getting laid.
  7. He’s honest even when the truth hurts. That means he’s going to tell you (in a nice way) when you do something that hurts him or when you’re making decisions that are going to hurt your future. He’ll encourage you to dump your toxic friend even when he knows that it’s going to be tough for you because he wants you to be happy in the long term, not just the short term. He knows that the truth is something you can handle and that you’re not a delicate princess who needs someone to protect her.
  8. He doesn’t mess with your head. He’s not going to toy with your emotions or make you think that he’s playing for the long term when he’s really just hoping for a fling. A respectful man will be up-front about his intentions with you, whether that involves keeping you around forever or just until your study abroad trip ends. He cares about you enough to honor your desire for honesty, and you’ll be able to trust that he’s not just trying to pull the wool over your eyes to get laid.
  9. He compliments you on more than just your looks. Yeah, buddy, I know my eyes are pretty. Is that the best you can come up with? It’s not that appearance-based compliments aren’t nice, but a lot of them are so unoriginal and can be thrown out there by any guy who thinks you’re cute. A man who really respects you will pay attention to who YOU are and compliment you based on the things that a stranger wouldn’t know.
  10. He keeps your secrets. It sounds like such a middle school sign of respect, but it holds true even when you’re in an adult relationship. If the guy you’re seeing doesn’t run off and tell his friends about the things you trust him with, you should keep him just like he keeps your secrets. Even though women tend to be the ones with the reputation, men can also be serious gossip queens, so it says a lot if this guy keeps his lips zipped even when he’s around his best friends.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu blue belt. She's currently hanging out in Costa Rica with her cat and a lot of really big bugs.