If it’s possible to experience hell while still living, it definitely exists in the form of an almost relationship — you get to deal with all of the BS of having a sort of boyfriend without any of the perks. There’s absolutely nothing worse than trying to decipher whether or not you’re headed toward an actual relationship or if you’re going to be stuck in limbo forever. Save yourself the following by getting out now:
You never know when he’s going to be free to hang out, so you keep your schedule cleared in case he actually wants to see you. Your responsibilities and other friends are pushed aside because you’re too busy prioritizing someone who can’t be bothered to see you on a regular basis.
“Are we or aren’t we?”
Wondering whether or not you two are exclusively dating is literal hell. Some days he’s super sweet and acts like the perfect boyfriend — late night phone calls just to talk, taking you out for dinner once or twice. Other days, he’s a complete douchebag and the only text you get all day is the dreaded “k”. But if you have to ask if you two are working toward coupledom, you probably already know the answer.
You can never get him to admit how he really feels about you, and it makes you question if he even likes you at all. While it’s normal to be afraid of losing someone, it’s not normal to let that insecurity take over your entire relationship — or in this case, an almost relationship.
“Are we FWBs or just hookup buddies?”
It seems like the only time he comes around is when he knows he’s getting laid. He might try to tell you it’s a compliment that he’s always DTF, but you get the vibe that he doesn’t like you as a person. Feeling like he’s only using you for sex is super crappy because you know you deserve more than that from someone, and you know you aren’t going to get it from him.
Obsessive and crazy behaviors.
You’ve probably already followed all of his exes on Instagram, and any time he is tagged in a post on Facebook with a girl you don’t know, you stalk the hell out of her profile. He says he can’t hang out because he’s at Craig’s for a guy’s night? Maybe you’ll drive by just to see if his car is there, and text Craig to ask how their night is going. If he’d just make things official, you probably wouldn’t be acting like such a psycho stalker.
“What do I call him?”
Your friends know you’ve been seeing him for weeks, maybe months, yet anytime they call him your boyfriend, you immediately correct them. “So if he’s not your boyfriend, what is he?” And then you’re stuck in an awkward position of trying to explain that he’s kind of your boyfriend except not really, and everyone feels uncomfortable about bringing it up in the first place.
The fact that you aren’t currently building a foundation for a long term relationship really sucks. You’re putting so much effort into this almost relationship only to build it up to become something so unstable it will eventually fall apart. It makes you wonder what even is the point of it all when you know it isn’t going to last without a solid foundation.
“Am I allowed to see other people?”
Almost relationships are hell because you are getting zero benefits of having a boyfriend, but it’s keeping you from potentially meeting someone who you could be in a real relationship with. And what’s worse than missing out on the love of your life because of some player?
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