Here’s Why Your Crush Isn’t Asking You Out

Some relationships move pretty quickly — like, you barely got a look at the guy before you were exchanging phone numbers and planning your first date. Then there are the situations where you’re quietly crushing from the sidelines for what seems like forever and a half. Those ones are usually less fun, although anticipation can be pretty fulfilling (as long as he eventually comes through). If you’ve been waiting for him to make a move and you can’t figure out why he isn’t, here are some reasons your crush isn’t asking you out.

  1. He has no idea you like him. You might think that you’re half smile and darting eye thing is exposing your feelings every time you walk by him, but no, it’s probably not.
  2. He’s scared of you. It happens. Any guy should be feel slightly intimidated to ask out a woman as fierce and fabulous as you.
  3. He’s dating someone. Have you pried into his personal life/stalked the crap out of his Insta? If there’s already someone sleeping in his bed, he’s probably not coming for you anytime soon.
  4. You already rejected him once before. You thought he was asking you for a ride to the office party; he thought he was setting up a casual date that might not end so casually.
  5. He’s broke. Maybe he’s supporting his older aunt at the moment and wants to wait until he has the spare cash to treat you to a night to remember… or maybe he’s just normal broke.
  6. You seem like the relationship type. When guys are looking for casual hookups and nothing else, they’re going to avoid the serious girls with a ten foot pole.
  7. He likes your friend. Ouch. If he likes your friend and isn’t making the move on her because of you, he’s going to keep his distance from the both of you.
  8. He doesn’t like girls at all. Whoops! You wouldn’t be the first to fall head over heels into crush world with a gay guy. That explains a lot.
  9. You’re not projecting the open vibe. People pick up on very subtle signals a lot of the time, and if there’s a part of you that’s already doubting the potential there, he might just read it as disinterest.
  10. He doesn’t know you exist. Not only does he not know that you’re not interested, he doesn’t even know you exist. Time to set up a “random” introduction, perhaps?
  11. You’re not his type. Yeah, people can be super wrong about their first impressions based on type, but if he’s already written you off for some reason, you’ll have to try another attention getting tactic that doesn’t have to do with your hair color.
  12. He’s waiting for you to make the move. Maybe you guys are already on friendly terms and he doesn’t want to mess with the friendship, so he’s hoping you’ll do the legwork so that he doesn’t have to put himself out there.
  13. He’s not over his ex. He might be actively trying to get over her, and is trying to be mature about it by not rebounding with you. That actually sounds like a pretty good dude, maybe he just needs some time.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog