If He’s Dumb Enough To Walk Away, Be Smart Enough To Let Him Go

Being in love with someone who decides he doesn’t want to be with you anymore is ridiculously painful, so it’s no wonder that so many of us try just about anything to convince a guy to stick around even when he’s not into it. But no matter how tempting it might be to try anything to persuade him to change his mind, this is why it’s always better to let your ex stay an ex and move on as a strong, single woman. After all, if he’s dumb enough to walk away, you might as well let him go.

  1. No one should have to fight to be loved. If someone comes back to you because you begged him not to go, that’s not love. Maybe it’s pity or guilt or even manipulation, but it’s not love. When a guy truly loves you, he’ll stick around because he wants to; he won’t have to be convinced.
  2. You’ll feel better if you don’t beg for him back. I know it feels like the only thing that can come out of your mouth right now is “please,” but try to hold yourself back. This pain will subside, and when it does, you’re going to be a lot happier with how you handled things if you take a deep breath, delete his number, and do your best to move on with life. It’s going to be hard now, but your future self will be so proud of you.
  3. You can find someone who will stay. I know, I know — so many guys out there are so terrified of commitment, it seems like you’ll never find one who will stick around. But trust me, they exist. And when the right one comes into your life, he’s going to realize what he has. He won’t walk away like this guy did. Let him go.
  4. He’ll regret leaving, but you won’t regret letting him leave. Maybe it’ll be a week, maybe it’ll be a decade, but either way, I can pretty much guarantee that this guy who was so nonchalant about exiting your life now will really regret it down the road. And by that time, you’ll have already realized that he wasn’t worth your time or tears. You’re going to feel so good when you get to be the one to turn HIM down.
  5. You’ll come out of this even more awesome. The universe is testing you a little bit, and that’s fine — you’ll pass. I know that this sucks now, but you’re going to emerge from it a stronger, more confident woman with higher standards. Letting someone go even when you want to beg him to stay is a true test of your strength, and once you realize you can do it, you’ll realize just how much you’ve grown as a person.
  6. He’s opening the door for someone better. How are you going to meet your soulmate if you’re still stuck with some dude who doesn’t even realize what he’s losing when he walks out on you? Even if you thought this guy was The One, the man you’re truly meant to be with isn’t going to bail on you. When you find the person you’re really supposed to spend the rest of your life with, you’ll be thankful that this happened.
  7. This won’t be a big deal when you look back. Right now, it feels like the end of the world, and that’s fine. Take time to cry about it, talk about it, and be super bitter about it. But also take some comfort in knowing that one day, you’re going to remember this and wonder why you were so upset over THAT guy. There’s no 10/10 guy who believes that you’re not worth his time.
  8. You’re not desperate, so don’t act desperate. You’re sad, you’re angry, you’re confused, but your momma raised you better than to chase after a man who runs away from you. Your self-esteem might be on the low side right now, but deep down, you know that you’re a catch. When your tears have dried, you’ll be able to stand tall knowing that whether you’re single or in a relationship, you don’t need to worry that you’ll never find someone who wants you again.
  9. It hurts now, but you’ll be fine. Man, does it hurt now. It feels like your heart was stomped on and chewed up and spit out and then stomped on again. That’s normal. It’s okay not to be okay for a while as long as you know that eventually, you will be. Just take it a day at a time. Embrace the pain when it comes and take the time you need to feel whatever you feel. But do it all knowing that all the hurt is temporary and that you’ll be back to your old self before you know it.
  10. You owe it to yourself to be strong. You gave so much to a person who ended up taking it all for granted. Now, it’s time to do yourself a favor instead. You know you’re going to feel crappy if you keep texting him asking for another chance, so do yourself a favor and stay away from him. Just like exercising sucks until you start seeing the benefits down the road, being strong now is something good that you’re doing for yourself, even if it’s hard at first. Let him go and life will get so much better. We promise.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.