When You Break Up With Me, It’s Not Goodbye For Now — It’s Goodbye Forever

I don’t believe in getting back together once we’ve called it quits on the relationship. When you break up with me, it’s for good — no maybe we’ll meet again, no goodbye for now, no see you later. This is the end forever — here’s why:

  1. If we were meant to be, we would have worked out the first time. So why didn’t we? If we couldn’t make it then, what makes you think we can make it now? What’s different? Two people who are destined to be together don’t break up. That’s not the story I want to have with “The One.” It’s not the tale I’ll tell my grandchildren.
  2. Breakups are final. If you break up with me, you’d better be done with me. I don’t go on “breaks” and I’m not waiting around for someday. Fights happen along the way, but you don’t just break up over every little thing. Breakups mean we can’t get through this, not now, not ever. Got it?
  3. You should know what you want. Breaking up says you don’t want me, not that you’ll maybe want me again someday. I don’t have time for that BS. You either want to be with me and work through our problems or you want to give up, let go and move on to someone else. You either want me or you don’t, so which is it?
  4. I don’t want to stay friends. I don’t believe in being friends with my exes. I want to get over you — how am I supposed to move on if we still see each other? It’s not healthy and I’m not going to be a part of it. We weren’t friends and we weren’t just lovers. If we’re not together, then we’re not anything at all. Sorry.
  5. We’re doomed to let history repeat itself. We could find a way to work things out and if we restart the relationship, then those problems will still be there. Those issues don’t just evaporate every time you break up. We couldn’t conquer our differences. That’s why we didn’t last, and some time apart won’t change that.
  6. Doing the same thing over and over again is the definition of insanity. Or so Albert Einstein says. The guy did know a thing or two, after all, so why aren’t we listening to him? I’m not going to get trapped in this vicious circle where one minute we’re together the next we’re broken up and we just keep repeating. If it doesn’t work out, then so be it but I’d rather try with someone new than keep trying with you over and over again.
  7. If we have no present, why would I want a future? Once we break up, we’re not part of the now anymore. You’re part of my past, so why would I still hope for a future of us together? I need to look forward to someone else, someone who actually wants to be with me all of the time, not just sometimes…
  8. I have to do what’s best for me. I need to look out for myself here. I don’t want to be tangled in some web of an on-again, off-again relationship. If we break up then what I need to focus on is moving on. I can’t keep holding on to the past. I need to think about the future and a future without you in it.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.